No need to apologize, curtsy to the forty somethings, kneel and cross yourself to Willie Nelson, Heather.
Just tell the forty somethings to be dating sixty something older women.
'nough said. I'm sure they are not as cool about the reverse.
The reasons she married were not adult reasons. The dude was a life raft, basically. How many people, particularly women marry because of a "you'll do" attitude? Because they do not want to be alone or do not want to face earning their own way alone? It's not a short-cut to grab a life raft, folks.
And now that she is graduating and after having a kid, it's like she is wanting to be an adult. To start an emotional adult life. I have some advice.
1. Like kids graduating from college, consider a retreat, a trip alone to think about things. Do a woman's retreat for a week. Seriously. With all the noise in your life, you need it. What? You can't afford it? Could ya afford a divorce? I'm sure you are thinking about that. If you were buying a home, you'd spend time and investment checking it out, why is your life any different? What? Your kid can't be without you for a week? What do you think custody would mean? This is serious. You need to be away from the day to day for a while.
2. Do not assume it's a choice you can stay in the marriage. It could get better, but frankly, you're not the only one with the power to end it. Seriously. You don't think he could not decide to break it up later? And then you've blown your youth staying. It could happen. You don't think he has an interior life separate from yours where he wants more? Get individual and then couple's counseling. Do it on the Q-T first if you have to. Invest in this change you are thinking about. You are not alone in your situation.
3. Taste financial independence and a full time job for a while before deciding. In any case, you'll understand things better. Although, just because it would be hard to be separate financially, this is not a reason for soul death.
4. Lastly, are you shitting me that your house is on land your husband's parent's own? Before you use the word divorce to your husband, clean up your finances! Go to Suzy Orman's website. Get forms, figure out plans. The house should also be in your name and this land situation must be sorted now - regardless of your plans. In the case of death of your in-laws OR your husband, you could be up shit creek. Everything should be clear now. All assets should be mapped and cleaned and wills should be in place. For all of you. Consider your kid if you have to to make you do it.
Last thing - another thing I see is that you didn't get a chance to date around before marrying. That's sad and that exploration needs to be mourned, but don't go out and sample goods. Seriously. If you decide to divorce and formally get that going - then yes, but seriously, don't screw around. It complicates things and potentially your divorce and custody if you go that route. Get some toys instead first. Experiment with porn. Don't sample the neighbors.
There are now a lot of podcasts available over the internet or through the iStore on any topic. Art needs money to support his teenage internet bride and her family overseas who pimped her out to Art (well over 60 when selecting a teenager as a bride). He left his so-called precious son to fend for himself in the states after the very weird sudden death of his wife, while he went overseas to meet his teenage bride he was hooked up with on the internet and to play out a fantasy, knocking her up and starting a second family.
It's all very creepy and no one needs to support such a narcissistic loser who creates infantile drama for every network he's been associated with, then leaves them holding the bag. He's worse than Jay Leno giving up his show in a dramatic fashion and then wanting to have it back.
Check out and search for great new talent on podcasts instead.
There's something super creepy about a guy who gets introduced over the internet to a teenage girl when he is over 60 by her mother and then flies over to the philippines, meets her, marries her after a matter of a couple of weeks and then knocks the teenager up.