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On The Beauty of a Pissing Contest

21 seconds sounds like kind of a long time, tho

Posted on July 7, 2014 at 4:44 pm 0

On Ask Polly: I Thought My Mother-in-Law Was Going to Kill Me at My Wedding

@Koko Goldstein My horrid aunt was staying with us for my wedding. On the morning of, she 1.) ate part of my breakfast off of my plate, 2.) tried to make me sit in the middle of the back seat on the way to the wedding, and 3.) talked about philly cheese steaks the whole time which would be fine except that I had the ol' nervous guts.

Posted on May 14, 2014 at 4:53 pm 2

On Week Disliked

We started off early on Sunday morning by having to take our 9 day old baby to the NICU to get 2 blood transfusions. He's ok now, but still. We spent 2 days in a children's hospital. So everyone in my house is a total wreck except the baby.

Posted on January 31, 2014 at 12:35 pm 0

On Talking Heads Albums, In Order

0.) Stop Making Sense

Posted on December 16, 2013 at 4:52 pm 0

On Cafe's Ingenuity Almost Makes You Forget Sanitary Violations

Great comedian Todd Glass had a bit about a restaurant getting a D rating and putting a sign that says "elicious" next to it.

Posted on November 1, 2013 at 11:29 am 1

On Bagels, In Order

@ejcsanfran Those are boiled donuts. If you want one, you're more than welcome to put on your pleated khakis, hop in your Dodge Ram, blast some Michael Buble, and go down to the store to pick some up. But they're not bagels.

Posted on October 25, 2013 at 1:00 pm 3

On I Am An Object Of Internet Ridicule, Ask Me Anything

@someguy You seem insecure.

Posted on September 20, 2013 at 10:16 am 0

On I Am An Object Of Internet Ridicule, Ask Me Anything

Another casualty in the one-sided war between hipsters and internet dorks.

Posted on September 19, 2013 at 10:14 am 1

On Four People Whose Twitter Lives Are A Nightmare

One of these days I will get international journalist @michaelbirnbaum to acknowledge me. It will happen.

Posted on August 30, 2013 at 10:40 am 0

On Ask Polly: My Great Job At A Top International News Publication Sucks Ass!

@1635135336@twitter Eugene's report was garbage!

Posted on August 15, 2013 at 3:21 pm 0