Open your mouth and say "AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGH"

On Killer Cops And Newspaper Wars On The California Coast

...or, barring that, just bring me more writing from Ken Layne. Please. Forwarding outpost requested alongside these other readers' petitions.
(And special thanks for that liveblog of... something that you live-blogged here with others that brought out some familiar wonkette faces. I'm thinking it was a Presidential debate or maybe Election Night itself.)

Posted on April 19, 2013 at 3:44 pm 1

On Massive Interstate Pile-Ups Are America's Worst New Hobby

New bumper sticker:
"My Other Car Is A Still-Smoldering Jacknifed Crush Of Metal Sadness That You'd Rather Pay To *Not* See"

Posted on April 1, 2013 at 4:20 pm 1

On An Internet Tabloid In The Time Of Comets And Mass Suicide

WordPerfect. Haha.. I'd forgotten about it but now I remember. That is all.
Well except for the delectably detailed rundown of your internetwonky beginnings. Always a pleasure, Ken!

Posted on March 19, 2013 at 12:28 am 1

On I Was A Teenaged Anchorman

I began a crippling lifelong addiction to breaking news.

That photo capture of you on the old skool teevee screen makes me wistful for days back when "transistor radio" was usually playing in the background, rolodexes were still on paper cards, and no skating rink worth its salt was without a foosball table.

Posted on March 4, 2013 at 2:29 pm 0

On Should You Be Allowed To Work From Home? (Answer: No)

I liked that Rome series. Pissed me off that it got cancelled.

Posted on February 27, 2013 at 2:10 pm 0

On Burger King Twitter Outrage Caps 60 Years Of Awful Burger King Commercials

It *seemed* like they tasted more grilled? Til I learned about those char marks that are "inked" onto the patties. But my tastebuds remained convinced, what I was eating appropriated more hot-off-the-smokin'-grill flavor, even if that was because Flavor-Injected Enhancers.

Posted on February 19, 2013 at 10:36 am 2

On No Point In Having Sex

Next you're gonna tell us cakewalks *don't* add calories when we participate in THAT overrated activity!

Posted on January 31, 2013 at 10:32 am 0

On American Religion On Its Death Bed, Going To Hell Soon

more religiously unaffiliated than previous generations

Well we're also among the most *distracted* generation, as well. I kind of feel for the missionaries these days. Hard to preach the Word effectively if you can't hold the subject's attention longer than 10 seconds.

Posted on January 23, 2013 at 3:52 pm 3

On Marco Rubio's Post-Modern Explanations For the Holy Bible

Prayer AND breakfasts in the White House will always thrive while there are turkeys hoping for yet evading Pardon by our President each year.

Posted on November 19, 2012 at 1:32 pm 1

On Edgar Allan Poe, Bea Arthur, Jimi Hendrix and Other Weird Military Veterans

I was surprised to learn this weekend that our military is the largest employer of musicians anywhere. It was explained to me there is an assigned band for every regiment stationed throughout our bases, that is according to SayItWithWookies from wonkville. He drops these doses of trivia on me when he's not beating me at Scrabble.

Posted on November 13, 2012 at 9:32 am 0