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On Ask Polly: How Do I Make My Boyfriend Listen?

This is brilliant, Polly. I am a sharp knife, daughter of another one. My parents have a strong marriage (there's hope, LW!), but the most regular fight I heard growing up was about my father not listening to my mother. (Though this included day-to-day things as well--he can be spacey.) He's still not perfect, but he at least tries harder and will usually apologize and try again when called out on it.

I've gone through a few friend breakups (mostly with men, now that I think of it) over this same thing. I will listen to you analyze and worry all day, but once I trust you, sometimes I need a sounding board for my problems, too. And if you shoot down every attempt at my asking you how your life is going, sometimes I will stubbornly keep trying until you yell at me for talking too much. Unfortunately, I found out the hard way that some people who were oh so happy to discuss all their problems and fears with me didn't have the time/patience for those discussions once they had to do the listening. (For instance, I spent a whole school year listening to my friend's family problems. When my dad got cancer, he ghosted, and when I called him out on it, he got angry and said he didn't have time for my problems.) I'm still working on Polly's advice at the end about walking away. Luckily, I have a mom and sister who are just like me and have found some priceless friends who are just as good at listening to and analyzing my problems as I am theirs. I just try not to lean on them excessively when I'm going through rough times.

Posted on April 17, 2014 at 5:25 pm 1

On TechCrunch: Journalists Or Startup Shills? You Decide

@Brunhilde Sometimes the expiration dates printed on products aren't totally accurate. If, to save money, you want to consume something after it expires (its 20th birthday), you should know how to sniff for spoilage, look for mold spores, etc.

Posted on September 6, 2013 at 5:11 pm 0

On Ask Polly: My Great Job At A Top International News Publication Sucks Ass!

@Drawn7979 Oh my god, the spambots are interacting with each other. We have reached the singularity; there is no need for real internet commenters anymore!

Posted on August 15, 2013 at 3:23 pm 3

On Responses To "Rape Joke"

@96498932@twitter I don't know if "credit" is the right word.

Posted on August 1, 2013 at 3:29 pm 3

On Rich Kids Of The Internet: Inside The Astounding Troll-Hole That Is Elite Daily

I first found out about this site when a friend-of-a-friend posted a jaw-droppingly misogynistic article on Facebook and my friend voiced her disapproval.

The article: The 20 Mistakes You Don't Want to Make in Your 20s, which includes gems like "A bad job is like a bitchy girlfriend that gives bad head" and the mistakes of "Spending your money on women who aren't escorts" and "Mistaking safe sex for anything besides anal."

Said FOAF defended it. I'm relieved that this site's origins are as shady as its content, but apparently there are thousands of shallow idiots who take it seriously.

Posted on July 26, 2013 at 2:47 pm 0

On Should You Move To Paris

I read Paris, I Love You, But You're Bringing Me Down before I moved there for a few months! It helped me not expect to ever get a Carte Vitale.

I traveled in much less louche or moneyed circles than this, but I still got caught in the middle of many heated French "discussions" that went far over my head, even when I could understand the words. Some version of "Paulette made a loud bouf sound and translated her opinion into French" happened in every single one.

Posted on July 2, 2013 at 1:48 pm 0

On Are We Not Each A Customer Whilst We Are Using The Restroom?

At least in my part of Europe, it is mostly Not Done to use a place's bathroom unless you're a paying customer, and there are not that many public restrooms. It's pretty easy to break that rule at McDonald's, because most of the McDonald's workers here are either busy with customers, purposefully ignoring the customers, or staring miserably at nothing. But besides that, they have definitely not mastered public bathroom going. Adults and their children pee in public even in broad daylight and near free bathrooms, and cleaning up your dog's crap is what idiots do. Pretty much every semi-secluded corner or wall has a permanent pee stain on it. So, yeah, the Old World doesn't win this one.

Posted on May 7, 2013 at 10:33 am 0

On What Happens After You Meet The Devil? The Life Of Mary MacLane

This was really great! I saw a little excerpt from her first book a few days ago somewhere, and I couldn't decide if she (her writing?) was annoying or not. Now I understand more of what was behind that. The games she played with her image and the press remind me a little bit of Lady Gaga, especially the burst of fascination that seems to have dwindled pretty quickly.

Posted on March 27, 2013 at 7:38 pm 0

On The Love of My Twenties: An Unexpurgated, Factual Account

Oh man, now I feel insecure about trying to publish the story of my mid-quarterlife crisis trip through Cleveland and my doomed romance with a guy who was about to rob the 7-11 but was stopped by the sight of my ass. Maybe the Billfold or Wirecutter would publish it?

Posted on March 27, 2013 at 8:42 am 0

On The Five Worst Kinds of Co-Workers

@jolie My mom (and dad) worked more than full-time for as far back as I can remember, and she would have burned down our house before she let it get to that state.* And with company, let alone reporters coming to the house? I got yelled at to make my bed whenever I had my dumb teenage friends over, just in case they happened to go in my room.

Actually, seeing as my mom is a social worker, I'm really tempted to send her this article just to make her head explode.(<3 u, mom!)

*my dad wasn't allowed to clean most things because what if they didn't get clean enough?

Posted on March 18, 2013 at 7:39 pm 0