On "Calm Down," the Movie

Ugh, I hate the argument that we don't have to worry about Ebola because only poor people are getting it. As you intimate above, the more people it infects, the greater the possibility of mutation.

And fuck this high-horse thinking that, "Oh, only dumb, uneducated people like West Africans panic during an epidemic." Even Americans, the Saviours of the World, are capable of irrational fear in the face of mass danger.

Posted on October 1, 2014 at 12:58 pm 0

On Uber Optics

All of the teachers I know spend dozens of hours outside of class preparing lesson plans, correcting assignments, and weeping at the state of our educational system. I doubt they want to spend their precious free time carting around assholes who are too cheap to call a professional driving service.

Posted on September 30, 2014 at 12:55 pm 0

On Publishing's Best Worst Friends

"Nobody goes there anymore; it's too crowded with people who want to track you down and force useless crap down your throat at the expense of your private life and freedom."

(With apologies to Yogi Berra.)

Posted on September 29, 2014 at 4:23 pm 0

On Middleman Removed

@sharilyn Unless they're derivative products based on shaky securities.

Posted on September 25, 2014 at 2:36 pm 1

On Man Struck By Bike

You won't believe how many people I have seen, as a cyclist, step into the bike lane mid-block from behind a car while texting. In some cases BACKWARDS. And then they get infuriated when you yell at them to pay attention because you're freaked out about almost hitting someone too lazy to look up from his phone.

All we ask is that you take a look down the street before stepping into the bike lane. You'd do that stepping into an automobile lane, right? Right?

Posted on September 24, 2014 at 3:42 pm 3

On Are You a Tech Company?

I'm going to start selling discount pins that pop bubbles.

Posted on September 24, 2014 at 3:38 pm 2

On War Encoded

Eh, I don't fault them. The new WMPs are rife with possible security holes. Anything that could have been exploited in 9 has probably been found and patched.

And what would the DoD need with the most recent version of WMP anyway?

Posted on September 23, 2014 at 1:56 pm 0

On Market Assessed Honestly

@KarenUhOh Zit, economic bubble, shoulder sockets

Posted on September 19, 2014 at 1:19 pm 0

On Market Assessed Honestly

And those modern grownups each have the same exact number of votes as you.

Posted on September 19, 2014 at 11:50 am 0

On A New York Superlative

@Lockheed Ventura
Do you feel that trickle
Coming down from above?
'Tain't money nor freedom.
’tis rich piss filled with love.

Posted on September 18, 2014 at 2:28 pm 1