@cmeggles @grizzle_bees I realised it a couple of years ago when I was researching a lot on daydreams and kids' imaginations and writing a semi-memoir thing. All that happy time I used to spend daydreaming was going into anxiety about things that were... just as fictional as the daydreams.
I think it is good to run some negative scenarios in your head (what if I do x and y happens?) but to see them as a way of working out the best thing to do, rather than as a terrible, inevitable spiral down. But the rest of the time you can be riding a pony, or spending lottery millions, or decorating your home or whatever floats your boat. :)
Hard to build on a Polly crescendo, but one thing:
Anxiety is imagination turned against you. Was there a time when you had long, epic, indulgent daydreams as a kid, where you did amazing things or wonderful things happened to you? The imagination that drove that is now being used to flesh-out the fear about your pores being magnified or a horrible conversation that has never happened - probably will never happen.
Try, once a day, using that energy to have a really detail fantasy about...winning the lottery... riding a galloping horse...being king of everything... Whatever you fancy as long as it's positive. Don't dismiss it on the grounds that it will never actually happen – the things you are stressing about won't happen either. Or if they do, as Polly points out, they won't be so bad.
@TimK39 Half-assery is an equal opportunities state. Sadly.
@paddlepickle I guess you just try to do everything you ever wanted to do and held back on because you were waiting for a boyf. Like... go on holiday to such-and-such place (travel solo and survive!), buy an apartment/house, get a dog/cat/horse/antelope...
@dating dystopia OKC = Plastic Bag Man Jamboree.
LW#1 - are you sure you'd be absolutely deep-down ok with a grown-up relationship with a man who was single?
Or are you perhaps avoiding something by seeking out men who are already attached (even if you don't consciously know it) and who will never, therefore, threaten you with having to deal with someone who is exclusively in love with you?
Just a thought.
"Jessica: Jezebel didn't really have a hate-blog per se when I was there (they got them after I left). But what they did have was several fringe blogs started by disgruntled commenters who had been, like, core, obsessive Jez fans who became disappointed with the direction of the site for reasons that were never entirely clear?"
I've been reading Jez since the beginning and I saw many very clear, articulate accounts of why people got disillusioned with the blog. Like that time Jezebel posted images of a woman being raped. The commenters who objected to that weren't asking for a special site dedicated to them. They were calling the site out.
So happy to see Leonora on the Hairpin! If ever I had a daughter, that would be her name. Virago reissued a short story collection by her alongside The Hearing Trumpet, and it reads like Spike Milligan.
So happy also to learn that she wrote that book accompanied by "cacophonous noise": my soundtrack to discovering her writing and painting was the Throwing Muses album, House Tornado, which is cacophonous, weird, female and full of Mexican women, wild animals and houses that could probably eat the housewives in them.
They remade House of Cards for a US audience?????
The original is meant to be a masterpiece. Very curious about this one.
It was deeply embarrassing when she left the Leveson early because her childcare had run out...