On How To Cook A Fucking Steak

Your comment was so fucking good I actually registered just to help. If your having troubles making a good mother-fucking steak then stop using pussy equipment. Get yourself a cast iron skillet - not some limp wristed teflon "cookware" but a mother-fucking skillet. Something you could use to kill zombies when the time comes.

Now, follow the directions above but with a slight difference. Put your fucking oven on hot as all fuck as well. Then, toss your steak on the skillet for thirty seconds 'til it's seared like Two-Face then flip it and do the same. After the two sides look like it's starting to become the quarter pound of char take the skillet and put it in the oven - but not with your bare-ass hands unless you feel like needing help wiping after taking a leak!

Cook in the oven at about 500 for two and a half minutes, flip and repeat. Now all that fucking fat is going to stay sealed in the sears you laid down before. I suggest also you get some oil for this job - peanut oil preferably. It has a high tolerance for pain and won't smoke until over 500 degrees.

Posted on November 20, 2009 at 4:09 pm 0