An introvert in New York.

On The Future Is the Sound of Your Own Voice

I would be grateful for an app that deletes the interminable pauses between words when Jonathan Schwartz speaks.

Posted on July 29, 2014 at 4:12 pm 0

On The Borowitz Problem

The New Republic wrote a great piece about why all the pseudo-Onion satirical sites aren't funny: they're not supposed to be, they just want your clicks so they serve up stories you'll share thinking they're real (http://www.newrepublic.com/article/118013/satire-news-websites-are-cashing-gullible-outraged-readers), and they use the concept of satire to protect themselves from lawsuits. That said, I don't think that's Borowitz's intent - I think the guy is simply, genuinely not funny. It's not his fault that everyone in the Internetz is stupid.

Posted on July 23, 2014 at 10:03 am 0

On Trauma Clickbaited

I was bullied all my childhood and you won't believe what happened next!

Posted on April 23, 2014 at 11:52 am 0

On Martin Amis Still Talking

Tell that to Ted Nugent.

Posted on March 18, 2014 at 11:01 am 1

On Are You Using This Correct Word?

"Betwixt" for girls.

Posted on October 23, 2013 at 11:44 am 0

On 22 Things I Still Remember About The Bloomberg Era

I barely remember inviting Choire to attend The Armory Show press preview via Gchat one night. And I barely remember making fun of him in the press office for saying he wanted to buy a Tom Wesselmann. Then again, I barely remember working at The Armory Show.

Posted on September 9, 2013 at 3:10 pm 0

On Ask Polly: I'm Almost 30 And I'm Terrified Of Losing My Looks

I never worried about losing my good looks because I didn't think I had any to lose. Now that I'm in my 40s I realize that I should have worried. Getting old sucks.

Posted on July 17, 2013 at 1:23 pm 4

On 43 Things That Will Make You Feel Old

Grey chest hair.

Posted on May 14, 2013 at 5:07 pm 1

On 'Time' Makes Smart Move In Trolling Generation That Does Nothing Else But React On Social Media

Yeah, like they read Time Magazine.

Posted on May 9, 2013 at 10:56 am 0

On Hair Is Wasted On The Hairful

I had been shaving my head for a couple of years when I met a girl who asked me to grow my hair back out. That's when I found out I had gone bald in those two years. I now regret not having enjoyed what little time I had left with my hair.

Posted on May 7, 2013 at 5:48 pm 1