I remembered the flying leeches (and still refuse to cook with the large-size pasta shells), but I'd forgotten about THE PUPPY UNITL NOW, YOU MOTHERFUCKERS.
@GailPink I always worried first that Cameron's father BEAT HIM TO DEATH that very night, hence the painting remains unmolested.
I was forbidden by my mother to watch the miniseries, and so I snagged the book from the resort gift shop on a vacation when I was about 11. Devoured the whole thing, learned both the word "flaccid" and what a condom *was,* from this book. We were heathens, though, so much of the Priest Mystique was utterly lost on me!