On Ask Polly: I Have a Perfect Life But My Insides Are Rotting

Great response, as usual. A therapist once told me that children of suicide often struggle hardest when they reach the age at which the parent died, or wind up ending their life at the same age. LW, it was interesting that you included that detail, whether consciously or not, so maybe that's more of a trigger than you realize? Maybe you feel doomed at this point, because that's when it all started for your mom. At any rate, the remedy is still the same: love and patience for yourself, supportive people around you, and a good therapist, as Polly recommends. Good luck out there!

Posted on May 28, 2014 at 1:24 pm 1

On Ask Polly: I'm Turning 30 And Anxiety Is Ruining Me

Hug from a fellow blusher! It happens in predictable, high pressure situations, or just sometimes with friends when I get too self-conscious. It's an especially annoying feedback loop. I can't stop it from happening, so the only thing to do is accept or even acknowledge it out loud, and try to barrel through anyway.

Finding self-acceptance with a good therapist will help! Most people really do think it's endearing or they just don't notice/care (these are things I tell myself, but there was a study, I swear!). If someone does judge you for blushing, all signs point to that person being a prick anyway. Good luck!

Posted on February 5, 2014 at 2:29 pm 1

On Advice Is Futile

@finguns All hail Quora. I could spend hours on that site without realizing it.

Posted on January 4, 2013 at 4:28 pm 0

On The Question

@Edith Zimmerman Seriously. I can't say how much this has helped me, even in the last day and a half. Thanks, Maria.

Posted on January 4, 2013 at 12:11 pm 0

On Advice Is Futile

I actually had a very similar situation this year, although maybe the reverse? I was convinced that I absolutely had to tell a friend what I felt about something important in her life. Thankfully, another friend (not mutual) sat me down and told me there was no way I could insert my pretty insignificant opinion into someone's important life decision completely unprompted. No good could possibly come from it. And she was right. Because honestly, as Edith said, what the hell do I know? It's not my life. I was afraid, though, that keeping my secret opinion would somehow rot the friendship, and we'd just grow apart.

But it turned out there was a third way, which was an honest conversation with her about stuff that I do have a stake in, namely our friendship, and things that were eating at me about it. I don't know. I often question other people's motivations, when it's my own need the most interrogation. In other words, to bring it back to another great essay from today, why are you doing this?

Posted on January 3, 2013 at 8:02 pm 1

On What Books Make You Cringe To Remember?

@Nadia Oooh, sorry...SPOILER ALERT.

Posted on April 5, 2012 at 4:32 pm 0

On What Books Make You Cringe To Remember?

After burning through 4 seasons of Felicity on Netflix in an embarrassingly short time (it was great at the time, and I'm happy to say it holds up), I'd probably devour a Felicity novelization. It's my understanding that choosing Noel over Ben at any point leads to Noel dying in a fire. Some things aren't meant to be.

Posted on April 5, 2012 at 4:10 pm 0

On 'The Thorn Birds': When Young, Sexy, Straight Priests Roamed The Earth

We had one hot priest growing up, memorialized in my brother's first communion photo. He was Irish and had a drinking problem. He did not last long, though my cousins mourned his leaving for years. Then there was Father Fast, who could finish mass in under 35 minutes. Also popular in my family.

Posted on February 9, 2012 at 10:46 am 0