On Roman Emperors, Up To AD 476 And Not Including Usurpers, In Order Of How Hardcore Their Deaths Were

This is a story? "How the Emperors Died" is a title for a story, actually, a great title. This is not that story.

Posted on May 10, 2012 at 10:44 am 0

On A Drynuary Diary: The Frothy Aftermath

Thank you, Drynuary guys. It's going on three months (May 1) and I'm still off the sauce. Yes, it's all thanks to you. Now: what do you do with an addiction to Dilaudid?


Posted on April 29, 2012 at 7:52 pm 0

On What Does Elephant Taste Like?

From what I've read of Livingstone, he was a very wide-minded eater and would try practically anything. I guess you had to be if you were traveling around Africa in the 1800s.

I myself, when I was young, was at a tent camp in Amboseli game park in Tanzania, and on the menu at the lodge restaurant was, believe it or not, zebra. I didn't have it but my mother did, and I tasted it. Very stringy, but not gamey and not unpleasant. I don't know which part I got. Elephant? I don't think so. I'd feel like a cannibal.

Posted on April 29, 2012 at 7:43 pm 0

On Is Impossible Pie Impossible?

While living in Dakar in the 70s (!) my mom and 18-year-old I decided we'd make an impossible pie; it was actually an apple pie but it would be impossible to find the stuff for it. Where the hell do you find shortening in Dakar in 1975? I think lots of rotgut red wine was consumed (by me, on the sly) but somehow we got it done, through sheer ingenuity (we may have used palm oil for shortening)(no, not THAT palm oil, I mean oil from our palms because it was so humid there) but believe it or not, There Were Apples, so it was guaranteed to be an Apple Pie no matter WHAT we used.

My memory is that it ended up looking, feeling and TASTING exactly like the apple pie I had in my youth.

Posted on February 20, 2012 at 12:14 pm 1

On A Drynuary Diary: The Frothy Aftermath

I'm delighted to report that, partly because of the Drynuary project, I have been dry since February 1st after 30+ years of drinking each and every day. No rehab, no AA, no Patch, no nothing. I set up a blog page where those who want to do the same thing and commiserate on their struggle can check in, but unfortunately one has dropped by the wayside (his wife is dying of lung cancer -- that would drive me to drink) and another didn't let me know he'd already been sober for three years and just wanted to follow my progress. My sister is doing it as well but she works for a sensitive govt. agency and can't be seen around the blog, but she's doing it!

There's still time for you! I'm not planning to be drinking again for at least ten years!

Email me at nick#montrealfood.com if you want to join the party! Better late than never! You can start March 1. I'll have the knowledge from being two weeks ahead of you. Druggies welcome too! We're not religious and we all have a vast sense of humor. Come on down! Thanks, John and Jolie!

Posted on February 16, 2012 at 9:11 am 0

On The Possibility Of Life On Other Planets

How do you get a job writing for this site? I assume this guy got paid to write this drivel. Amazing insights, so original and compelling. For elementary school children.

Posted on February 3, 2012 at 1:15 pm 0

On A Drynuary Diary: Week Two

Bridget, stay sober. I'm about to leap into the crevasse starting Feb. 1. Join me if you want . . . nick @ montrealfood.com

Posted on January 29, 2012 at 7:19 pm 0