@patrick butler The reason why they won't do it is because there's no way Gaikowski can be the Zodiac (he was out of the state during at least one of the murders), and the "informant" who is pushing this theory is a nutjob.
@Paranoid/Drunk AA saved my dad's life. Like you, he knew he had a problem with alcohol, but tried every possible way to get around actually having to quit (e.g., "I just won't drink *vodka* anymore. I'll stick to brandy."). YOU ARE SO NOT ALONE in this. Whatever you decide, I wish you the best.
@Rick Paulas I am unimpressed with Gaikowski as a suspect and wonder if Voigt is losing his marbles for pushing this theory and playing a long with this "Goldcatcher" character.
Oh yeah. Being "Cool Girl" just means white-knuckling it through a relationship for months at a time. Having panic attacks in the bathroom and then collecting yourself so you seem as calm and open and available as you always are b/c you're *cool.* It's such a force of habit at this point in my life that I'm afraid I can't stop.
@tealily In my opinion, this is a deal breaker. You either need to address this with him (possibly in therapy) or get out. I've been through this experience with someone - I had a family crisis and my ex basically turned into a needy, whining, tantrum-throwing 4 year old. It was such a horrible experience that I couldn't even believe it was happening. Ultimately, I knew it wasn't about me...it was his own issue, his own effed up family history of dysfunction that led him to have this reaction to the most difficult/scary/traumatic thing that ever happened to me, but that still didn't mean it was acceptable. It directly led to our breakup and I'm forever grateful because we were on the fast track to moving in together. Like, he had literally started packing his belongings when this happened. What if this had happened after we moved in together? I would have been majorly effed over because when the shit hit the fan I really really really needed him and the way he acted made me hate him for a long time. I couldn't imagine being stuck with someone like that.
Just because you are capable of being empathetic about the *reason* behind him acting this way doesn't mean it's acceptable or that he's capable of having a healthy relationship. You need to have a healthy relationship before you commit to this guy...not just shrug your shoulders and hope for the best. You deserve better. We ALL deserve better.
I'm not LW#1, but I could be. It hasn't been that long since my last relationship fell apart, but I am trying to get over these bitter, hateful, victim-ish feelings. What he did to me was truly rotten. And he was a BIG LOVE. And he fits this statement - "The smallest change in weather, the tiniest shift in cabin pressure, the most minuscule adjustment in tone or mood sends them running" - to a T. I need to get away from these thoughts I know the breakup was about his emotional stuff and not me...it's just so much easier for me to fixate on the drama that was our breakup.
I'm taking these words to heart, Heather. I have already started thinking about what it would be like to live the rest of my life alone, but I get scared to go down that road and I stop myself. I will try to embrace it...
@Werner Hedgehog Right? Guys with girlfriends hit on you? Join the club! Which also includes every other woman on the planet (and lots of dudes too).
@Xenu01 It's nice to hear you say that. I'm still kind of reeling from the whole thing and trying to figure out what's next for me. He did make breaking up with him easier for me by turning into a crazy person.
I should also add that I'm framing Polly's response and putting it on my wall. That's some stuff I really needed to read.
LW#1's boyfriend basically was my ex boyfriend. He seemed to love planning a future with me. He was a planner and a strategizer. It was fun for me too. I ask him to move in with me, and when it got down to brass tacks (like 2 months before move-in), he went crazy on me and started being really controlling. He manufactured a whole drama and made it out to be my fault. So we decided not to move in in together, and I soon after broke up with him. Get your answer now...and consider not moving in together until he asks you to marry him.
@Jolly & @MountainDo Please tell me one or both of you live in Chicago and want to hang out.