Chris Rovzar, editor of Vanity Fair's website, just found this delightful item in the VF archives, from February of 1997. (Ancient history? Or yesterday? YOU DECIDE. Either way, it was before irony died.) That year was the publication of the excellent collection of New York Observer columns, called Sex and the City. Some notable things about this picture: READ MORE

"The three directors who oversee risk at JPMorgan Chase & Co. include a museum head who sat on American International Group Inc.’s governance committee in 2008, the grandson of a billionaire and the chief executive officer of a company that makes flight controls and work boots. What the risk committee of the biggest U.S. lender lacks, and what the five next largest competitors have, are directors who worked at a bank or as financial risk managers." READ MORE

He's baaaaaaack. Setting aside the noise of Cannes wrapping up (Kanye West: "I don't answer questions.") comes the verdict on Michael Haneke's Amour, which should open in the U.S. late this year, under the Oscar wire. It sounds great!

You may remember how last Memorial Day, Miami Beach police officers gunned down black tourists and seized the cellphones of anyone recording the cops in action. (Spoiler: the shot bystanders, ignored for a full year now, are suing!) Well, Urban Beach Weekend is back again this weekend, and the city is ready! They've installed a "one-time" DUI checkpoint, some watch towers, scanners that record everyone's license plates, some "light towers," some road blocks—and a whites-only bridge. Oops sorry, "residents-only" bridge. (Ahem: "tourists will be given the impression that they can’t get in.") Let's look at some notable quotables from the Herald today, which are likely causing strokes over at the ACLU! READ MORE

"The man does whatever he wants. Doesn't like smoking in outdoor, public places? Poof, gone. Doesn't like trans fats? Poof, gone. Doesn't like protestors in his neck of the woods? Poof, gone. It's people like him that have all but killed the New York that I love. We now live in a city inundated with self-righteous, self-conscious, nosy, do-goody, premium day care-using, cause-loving goons." READ MORE

This time it's Newhouse/Advance's turn to destroy a newspaper: the New Orleans Times-Picayune, to be specific, which will fire a bunch of people, stop publishing daily and generally be suckier. (Also: "a new company, NOLA Media Group, will run the newspaper and its website, and another new company will print and deliver the paper." Innnntriguing.) Enjoy your new life blogging on this hot mess! Your move, McClatchy! Oh wait, Jake Gyllenhaal's uncle has got the destruction covered, okay, great. The whole thing about corporate reorganizing is most interesting: "Tribune and Advance are creating subsidiary companies for their newspapers." Hey, that's what I would do if I were going to dump them.

Are you ready to cook me some big meat? Maybe you're not! Here, we will tell you what to buy to make the magic happen.

"Prosecutors say Noah Mitchell, 35, savagely beat his Labrador retriever, Bubba, during a barbecue on Oct. 3, 2010, because the animal took a steak from the kitchen counter. The six-member jury took about six hours to deliberate." And now he faces up to a year in jail. But where is the puppy! "Bubba is reportedly healthy and doing fine. It is not clear where he now lives." (In my heart???)

You'll have to find some other way to show your affection for local hero crime-buster Brent Rose—who busted up a group mugging last night in Brooklyn—than sleeping with him, unfortunately, as he's not single, but perhaps you can think of something. Perhaps you can shower him with gifts, cash and gifts of cash!

The Guardian live-blog and the Al-Jazeera live-blog of the Egyptian elections are just fun to keep tabs on today. It's mostly just like "I'm excited to go vote!" So far it's the feel-good story of the day! And we'd like to keep it that way.