@alicesherman You DO NOT take food from the bride and groom. Wedding weekends are insanely busy and it is so hard to find time/remember to eat. When food is in front of you that you actually want (the nervous guts) and have time to eat, it is fucking YOURS.
When I got married, my maid of honor wanted to throw a bridal shower/luncheon for me with my bridemaids and some of the other ladies 2 days prior to the wedding day. We had moved cross country from our families and decided to get married where we live, so about 60% of the guests were flying in from afar and making a vacation out of it. Because of travel time and the already massive amount of scheduling already involved, I decided to just keep it super low-key instead of a formal to-do. Bridemaids (only 3, so no massive party) and mom and I were going to go for a walk around downtown, run a few last minute errands, then go to lunch at a cute little cafe, My mom, who is the greatest most caring woman ever, but the slowest shopper in the entire world, decided that the 5 minute run into Nordstrom for a jewelry polish cloth was a great time for her to go shopping for a new rehearsal dinner dress. Trying to be accommodating, I said that she could do whatever, but I was really hungry and hadn't eaten all day and it was already almost 2, so we should get moving soon. I offered to run down to the bakery and grab croissants or something for us to tide us over. Oh no, no, no! We are taking you out to lunch, just wait a bit. I take off to get the rest of the errands done and come back 30 mins later. Still trying things on, no progress made. I (quite crankily at this point) say again, can we just go get food? She says it will only be a few more minutes. I start walking over the the husband chairs to sit down and promptly black out and hit the floor (happens sometimes, mom knows this.) None of my people see this, so I wake up surrounded by freaked out clerks who are about to call me an ambulance. I get one of them to find my mom and friends. My mom walks out of the dressing room eating a protein bar that the dressing room lady had gotten for her because "she was starving." She didn't really want a new dress, just wanted to see if they had anything she liked better. So my bridal shower was two bites of a shitty Jimmy Johns sub, eaten on the curb next to a couple stinky street kids.
Moral of the story: feed the bride and groom.
On Meet The Awl
@whizz_dumb No aspect of this website makes me happier than the moon hatred. .
@hockeymom There is no possible way Bing Crosby is not in the top three. It's science.
@bluebears AND That Mitchell and Webb Look.
"Ooo, and that's a bad miss!"
@jolie Same here! We just got married last month after about 8 years together. I had to think on the fly and come up with a better meet-cute story than "A friend brought me to a party at his house. We hit it off. We left his bedroom 4 days later."
@Morbo "I guess this split really started to open when, in the months after 9/11, we got really into pomegranate juice."
91 sounds like a nice little Saturday to me.
@zidaane Absolutely. A BLT with onion rings (more grease and salt!) is my go-to hungover diner meal.
@CheeseLouise Maybe they include bar prices? I know Washington is up there, but in Seattle my Camel lights cost $7.50ish at the corner store, $11 at the bar (I am frequently drunk, lazy, and bad with money).
Edit: Didn't read the Methodology section...So not much of an average, just a place in the state.