On Ask Polly: Why Is My Boyfriend Addicted To Internet Sex Chats And Why Won't He Stop Lying About It!
I don't know, I'm not sure I can get behind the whole "boyfriend who fantasizes about you most of the time" bit. I don't think anybody fantasizes about their partner most of the time, or even much of the time. They can love fucking you and be uninterested in actually fucking anybody else and be a super duper awesome partner who isn't a lying skeeze, but fantasizing mostly about you? I think at best your partner pretends they mostly fantasize about you, and you pretend to believe them. And the same in reverse! Anything else is unrealistic, or is the early, non-permanent stuff that fades fast once the relationship is a real thing. Anyway, a small thing to pick apart in otherwise solid advice.
Polly is bang on for LR1. The best part about admitting you've been faking it is that it allows you to experiment with what actually will get you off. I was lucky - my husband mentioned very early on, as delicately as he could, that I didn't have to put on a show for his benefit. (Not as good an actress as I thought??) That allowed me to admit I'd never had an orgasm during sex and didn't think it was possible. Which prompted him to invite me to bring my vibrator to bed whenever I want. And now we both finish every time! So much better than faking it.
oh for fuck's sake. really?
@ipomoea you do realize that some of the things you listed can cause miscarriages? So, you know, it is less BECAUSE OF THE BABY and more NOT TO KILL THE BABY.
Good god, advising women not to eat soft cheese (to avoid listeriosis! in an effort to keep your baby alive!) is now considered passing judgment??
I know this may seem batshit, but some women actually WANT to know which things might harm their baby and they might WANT to avoid those things because of the risk. Providing that information isn't infantlizing, it is educating.
@Susannaf You are incorrect to say the evidence shows moderate drinking does not harm a baby. The wording I have seen states it MAY not harm a baby. These are not the same things.
Further, for every study out there that states one conclusion, there are three that state another. Which is great, of course, because it means we can always find a study to back up what we want to believe.
Somebody has to chime in with the unpopular opinion! You know, any time that conversations come up about what is best for baby, inevitably people mention what their mother did and how they still turned out okay. As if, you know, you turned out okay because your mother smoked and not in spite of the fact that she smoked. Yes, of course you can make poor decisions and not suffer consequences. That is why we aren't all dead in our teens - luck rescues all of us at some point. But it is the height of selfishness to take a risk when you aren't the one who will suffer the consequence if you aren't on the lucky side of the statistics.
I understand that it is the thing now, as females, to champion our right to do whatever the fuck we want in pregnancy and child rearing, and to celebrate hating it and making decisions that go against what is considered best and healthiest. But I suspect most of the people offering their encouragement of your drinking have never met anybody affected by any FASD. I have. It is heartbreaking.
Drinking during pregnancy can have devastating results - how that is not enough to sway a pregnant woman is beyond me. (I am not talking about one or two drinks over the course of pregnancy. And neither, it should be pointed out, are you.)
But yeah, bottoms up.
"and in the dollar store the clerk is closing up
and counting loonies trying not to say
I hate Winnipeg"
@Comments for the void Uh, what Canada are you living in? It's warmer than usual, sure, but regardless of Harper's dreams of making us US Lite we're not even close to being near Santorum territory on social issues. None of the rights we enjoy are being threatened - gay marriage and abortion are here to stay. Come on now.
Can't stand the National Post, but....WE'RE NUMBER ONE! WE'RE NUMBER ONE!
I miss your tumblr so, so much dude.