On Names of Television Shows and Movies that Resonated With Me, While Channel Surfing on Sunday Between the Hours of 12-8 PM in an Empty House on the East End of Long Island, Drinking Bourbon and Contemplating the Dissolution of a Two-Year Relationship (Mostly My Fault)
My list is the same, except it begins with "Blood Diamonds" (History Channel) and ends in "Pawn Stars" (also, the History Channel).
Posted on January 11, 2010 at 3:31 pm
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On I Hated 'Avatar' With The Fire Of A Thousand Suns, by Maria Bustillos
The best part of Navi culture is that you have to rape your aerial steed before it will let you ride it. "Here, let me forcibly penetrate your tentacle input jack thing, causing your pupils to dilate with the shock. Now you're MINE!"
Posted on December 21, 2009 at 2:33 pm
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On Massive Carnage-Death-Porn From '2012' Unleashed on TV
Except, Randy's Donuts is in Inglewood. Not Santa Monica. THIS MOVE IS SOOOO UNREALISTIC.
Posted on October 2, 2009 at 8:24 pm
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On Movies I Have Walked Out Of, by Julie Klausner
I can only assume that nobody mentioned Alexander because nobody even bothered to buy a ticket in the first place. But this was a movie so bad that its director predicted it would fail. Though, he said it would fail because Americans can't handle the bisexuality of the main character, and because Bush was an asshole. How the last part would affect audience attendance wasn't exactly clear.
I didn't so much as walk out of it as I was asked to leave. I tried to keep it together, I really did, but the scene with the Persian war elephant and Alexander's war horse rearing up at each other in slow-motion was just too emo Ringling Brothers not to lose my shit. The usher said I was bothering the two other people in the theater.