After a breakup, I am a sad and lonely digital masturbater.
It's pronounced daa-tuh, not day-tuh. And "beeg", like the porno site. Beeg daa-tuh esta aqui! Beeg daa-tuh samba pa ti! Beeg daa-tuh wet nursery!
I feel like this should have been posted on The Hairpin.
I went a whole year without saying things were like other things. It was a lot like this.
The first thing I do when stricken with influenza is pop an adderall and then twat about it.
1. Young people from 10 years ago.
2. Something Buzzfeed makes fun of to get the low-hanging ad dollars.
Indeed, the last 10 years has been a broad swath of tedium and misery dotted by the occasional transcendent sexual experience. But I have managed to never use the itunes store. So I have that to keep me warm at night...
On Two Millennia Of Our Species' Struggle To Express The Experience Of Existence Through Art Finally Finds Resolution In The Popularity Of A Cat That Can't Shut Its Mouth
I'm excited for a future where we celebrate hilariously adorable human genitals as they go about their days.
If this were a telegram it'd have the word "stop" throughout. Also Bugs Bunny would deliver it and then it would explode.