Hello. I love you. Won't you tell me your name?

By BadUncle on Where Should We Bury the Dead Racist Literary Giants?

@Non-Anonymous I'd have to disagree. "The Horror at Red Hook" is all about racial loathing (in this case, "swarthy" people from the Mediterranean and Middle East). I'm glad that Ibrahim Sahadi's mark on Brooklyn is lasting, and Lovecraft's is a footnote.

Posted on September 30, 2014 at 7:55 pm 1

By lakonislate on When a Housing Inspector Says It's Illegal to Keep a Bicycle in Your Garage

I live in Amsterdam, the Netherlands, and... well I guess the essence of my point is Hahahahahahaha what

Posted on August 12, 2014 at 7:36 am 1

By KarenUhOh on The Pathos of Pageviews

There's no apartment at the end of this gravy train, pal. Just a Gold Star Motel.

Posted on July 17, 2014 at 9:52 am 1

By Clarence Rosario on That Big Study About How the Student Debt Nightmare Is in Your Head? It's Garbage

@Maura Johnston Yeah, but how can data journalism be bad when it can tell me if my masturbation frequency is "normal" or not?

Posted on June 24, 2014 at 11:20 am 2

By Maura Johnston on That Big Study About How the Student Debt Nightmare Is in Your Head? It's Garbage

this is why 'data journalism' is the new 'objectivity' as far as being a complete scourge when it comes to, you know, journalism's ostensible job of getting the truth out there. you don't have to be *correct*—you just have to have the illusion of being correct, and numbers conveniently provide that because oh isn't math just infallible?

ugh ugh UGH. i hated 'a new study' bullshit when it was telling me incorrect things about pop music, but shit like this is even more corrosive.

Posted on June 24, 2014 at 10:23 am 7

By Moff on How Not to Let Your Small Child Pee in a Public Park

"Why, earlier today I watched as a little boy dropped his popsicle stick on the ground. Father didn't pick it up. 'Too sticky,' I suppose. 'Trying to get home before nap time' or some such thing. Fortunately, a constable was on the scene in an instant. Set him right straight, he did. Mmm, these entitled white folk. They make all the rest of us look bad."

"Indeed, indeed. I saying just that down at the monocle shop this morning."

Posted on June 10, 2014 at 11:10 am 1

By Gef the Talking Mongoose on How Not to Let Your Small Child Pee in a Public Park

@BadUncle : 9 million people do carry a great deal of urine.

What the hell. In the spirit of public knowledge, let's do the math.

Normal urine output volume is about 1.5 liters/day and the standard frequency of urination is between 4 and 6 times per day, so we can assume that the average person voids 300 ml of urine 5 times a day. This seems reasonable, considering that the micturition reflex is usually triggered by a volume of 300 to 400 ml of urine in the bladder.

We should also assume that the average bladder is slightly more than half-full at any time -- let's say 60% full -- since the volume of urine in the bladder is constantly increasing but the micturition reflex can be voluntarily inhibited for a period of time even when the bladder is full. For ease of calculation, we'll disregard cases in which the bladder is less than full but voiding is voluntarily stimulated, and cases in which the person is too young to voluntarily suppress voiding.

Our back-of-the-envelope calculation gives us the following result : roughly 8.5 million people in NYC (2013 census estimate) are each carrying 60% of their 300 ml urine capacity at any given time, which means that the carrying volume of urine in NYC at any given time is roughly 1.53 million liters total.

Considering that an Olympic-size swimming pool holds 2.5 million liters, you are currently surrounded by a more-than-half-full (~60% full) Olympic swimming pool of urine, sloshing around in the bladders of everyone around you.

Interestingly, your fellow New Yorkers are currently urinating at a collective rate of 17,700 liters per minute, or the output of nearly 4 (~3.77) Class "A" rated fire engine pumps. This astonishing rate is exceeded only by the rate at which your fellow New Yorkers ingest water through drinking, eating, and aerobic respiration : a staggering 21.25 million liters of water per day, just short of 30,000 liters per minute.

You can thank me later; right now, I have to go pee.

Posted on June 10, 2014 at 10:29 am 4

By Moff on How Not to Let Your Small Child Pee in a Public Park

@Incidentally: Jesus Christ, yes, that's what we need in this country, is more of a focus on teaching our kids to be "responsible citizens." We have such a dearth of "responsible citizens." It totally makes sense to pack up a 3-year-old for a 10-minute round trip that might end in her wetting her pants regardless, because otherwise HORRORS, TRACES OF MOSTLY WATER ON THE GROUND (in a public park. In New York City). This kid is probably gonna be peeing on everything from here on out. She's ruined. As ruined as the rest of that evening was for all the unfortunate souls WHO HAD TO BEAR WITNESS TO A SMALL CHILD'S BASIC HUMAN BODILY FUNCTIONS. If they noticed.

Look at these fucking comments—at present at least seven, by my count, more interested in shaming a dude for letting his kid take a secluded pee outside (BECAUSE RULES! AND: ISH, YUCK! (again, in New York City!!!)) than in acknowledging that MAYBE, JUST MAYBE it is fucked-up that we live in a society where an officer of the state thought it necessary and acceptable to make a thing of it. (Yes, I'm sure he was thinking, Boy, if I don't set this bougie white father straight, he'll probably just let his kid pee all over the place every day from here on out. That will probably happen. That's a reasonable conclusion. Thank goodness I headed that off.)

Now go Tumbl a Maurice Sendak quote about being an iconoclast and retweet Ta-Nehisi Coates complaining about respectability politics or something, and then wonder why things aren't getting better, you jackasses.

Posted on June 9, 2014 at 4:04 pm 2

By Kevin Knox on The Second Closet

@Debussy Fields Or you could eat real chicken, and not reconstituted poultry slurry.

Posted on May 8, 2014 at 2:12 pm 2

By whizz_dumb on The Second Closet

"It would shock you (how many conservative execs are at the helm of corporations). You wouldn’t be able to step out of your house if you boycotted them all.”

1) It would not shock me, it's almost common knowledge that rich bigots own most huge corporations.

2) It actually is possible to leave your house and not give money to a company owned by a conservative, although yes it's not easy for much of America. But what if everyone made informed decisions as a consumer based on their beliefs? Haha never mind, he's right, you can't fight it so just give in and keep spending money without thinking about who ultimately profits from it or the age/wage of the labor involved. There's nothing you can do, get out your credit card complacent one.

Posted on May 8, 2014 at 1:12 pm 5