Hello. I love you. Won't you tell me your name?

On Man Vs. Word

By contrast, absorbing content through speed eating is a proven fact.

Posted on July 18, 2014 at 12:03 am 0

On "Freaky" Employed

They misspelled the history gland they're touching.

Posted on July 3, 2014 at 10:02 am 0

On Six Essential Hobby Lobby Products (And Where To Buy Them Now)

I'd never even heard of Hobby Lobby until this came down. More importantly, I didn't know you could buy a disembodied doll face, and now need a gross of them. Those thing are going on everything! Make everything creepy!

Posted on July 2, 2014 at 9:44 am 0

On How I Got My iPhone to Finally Let Me Swear

Seriously, how is "fisting" not on there?

Posted on June 23, 2014 at 10:55 pm 0

On The Case for Drunk Texting Mom

Look, FWIW, I'm willing to text anybody's mom about anything, at anytime. I'm there for you. And your mom.

Posted on June 23, 2014 at 10:52 pm 1

On Gentrification Eats Its Own

I don't care about the ebb and flow of urban population tides. What really disturbs me is that photo. What the hell is that?? It looks like a boiled, gangrenous thumb, served on a bed of Gowanus effluent, and drizzled with fire coral.

Posted on June 11, 2014 at 11:53 pm 1

On How Not to Let Your Small Child Pee in a Public Park

@hershmire Yes, 9 million people do carry a great deal of urine. And there are what - 3? - public toilets for all of us?

Posted on June 10, 2014 at 1:17 am 0

On New Subway Line to Connect Brooklyn and Some Other Borough

I'd be perfectly happy for a rope-tow from Flatbush to Redhook.

Posted on June 10, 2014 at 1:04 am 1

On Death to Negronis

@BadUncle The Feds have an actual definition for licensed "neutral spirits." They have to be flavorless. If not, they're not "neutral." Accordingly, all plain, grain vodka should taste identically - though connoisseurs insist they each have their own nuance. Maybe so, but the minute you throw in vermouth or tonic or tomato juice, you may as well buy the squeeze bottles of Popov.

Posted on June 9, 2014 at 11:02 pm 0

On How Not to Let Your Small Child Pee in a Public Park

I'm letting my dog run around grass which a child has marked? The horror, the horror.

Posted on June 9, 2014 at 2:02 pm 1