Hello. I love you. Won't you tell me your name?
Seriously, how is "fisting" not on there?
Look, FWIW, I'm willing to text anybody's mom about anything, at anytime. I'm there for you. And your mom.
I don't care about the ebb and flow of urban population tides. What really disturbs me is that photo. What the hell is that?? It looks like a boiled, gangrenous thumb, served on a bed of Gowanus effluent, and drizzled with fire coral.
@hershmire Yes, 9 million people do carry a great deal of urine. And there are what - 3? - public toilets for all of us?
I'd be perfectly happy for a rope-tow from Flatbush to Redhook.
@BadUncle The Feds have an actual definition for licensed "neutral spirits." They have to be flavorless. If not, they're not "neutral." Accordingly, all plain, grain vodka should taste identically - though connoisseurs insist they each have their own nuance. Maybe so, but the minute you throw in vermouth or tonic or tomato juice, you may as well buy the squeeze bottles of Popov.
I'm letting my dog run around grass which a child has marked? The horror, the horror.
@Matt Buchanan By the same token, bourbon would be a neutral spirit flavored with a seasoned oak cask - also a kind of plant stuff.
Good article about a drink to be consumed by a motor-scooter rider wearing a fez and smoking with a cigarette holder. I had a serious thing for negronis in the 90s, when WFMU's Irwin Chusid and Joseph Lanza (author of "Elevator Music"), DJ'd loungecore at a weekly bar event. According to those guys, the negroni was as much an American old man beverage as the martini, though it was discarded with WWII (Campari being an Axis liqueur, of course). One quibble: gin is not a "neutral spirit." By definition, a neutral spirit is effectively flavorless, and gin is anything but.
I'm glad to see that no matter which writer tackles the subject, the Awl retains its laser focus on aesthetic horror of grown men in shorts.