Flicked Off, with Mary HK Choi and Alex Balk: 'Nine'

Nine, directed by Rob Marshall, opens in limited release tomorrow. It stars Daniel Day-Lewis, Marion Cotillard, Penélope Cruz, Nicole Kidman, Judi Dench, Kate Hudson, Sophia Loren, and Stacy Ferguson. READ MORE

Are 13-Year-Olds Taking Our Jobs?

"You know that feeling when you're sort of floating around like a ghost and so exhausted that you consider drinking the Lola perfume in your goodie bag at Marc Jacobs? No? Me neither. Except this one time when I went to New York Fashion Week and it was sort of crazy." READ MORE

Something About Uganda That I'd Know About: Filson!

I'm really sorry about how my thoughts work, but all this talk of Uganda and the gays is horrifying and depressing and scary and then totally reminds me of the fact that Uganda is partially responsible for this one maybe incredible thing that you can get tyrannized into spending loads of money on for the holidays. It's the Filson Original Briefcase in a super limited-edition (only 200!), quickstrike colorway that isn't Otter Green, Brown or Tan. It's the first Filson collaboration ever and made from 17.5oz Ugandan cotton sourced by the nonprofit Invisible Children. This is just where my brain went because it goes UgandaSadfaceGaysHappyfaceFilson. And instead of pre-ordering one I'm going to buy a benefit calendar and hug myself.

Korean Ladies: Not as naturally skinny as they'd have you believe.

The Korea Times' announcement today that one in five Korean women are intentionally starving themselves in order to look "beautiful" shocked a community comprised of exactly 0.000003% of the country's inhabitants. People who have "met a Korean woman" or "sat across from one during mealtime" were significantly less flabbergasted by the outcome. This may sound insensitive but South Korean women having Body Dysmorphic Disorder is some OLD ASS NEWS. Shit's so old it had a knee lift and still only wears long pants. If you asked a South Korean woman to draw what she thought she thought she looked like on a wall in crayon, she would FORGET THE TASK BECAUSE SHE IS SO HUNGRY. It's completely tragic but EVERYONE gets at least a blepharoplasty, eats most of her calories in lipstick and basically all role models are a 00. I am not going to say anything snide about Daul Kim because everything about that situation deeply upsets me, but man, the "face of Korea" was a beautiful and desperately unhappy one. Now if you'll excuse me I have to go call my mom and eat this burrito.

Gluttony, with Mary HK Choi: Tohato Caramel Corn

I mean, just look at him. Why WOULDN'T you eat whatever was in this little mogwai's belly? You know it's going to be amazing. And sweet! And just this once devoid of petrified baby fish complete with tiny skeletons and the beady eyeballs that you run the risk of meeting when you cop an Asian Bag o' Snack that you're unfamiliar with. READ MORE

Someone Go Help Nine West. So Bad.

If you're anything like me (a girl) you have a squillion pairs of very expensive shoes on ice, and two pairs of Nine West jams that you hoof about in on the reg. And if you were at all excited at the prospect of potentially buying a pair of $41-on-sale sandals for spring, you HAVE TO check out the brand's 2010 spring/summer line. IT'S SOOO FUNNY. No seriously, it surpasses disappointment and Chardonnay-drunk stumbles towards entertaining. It's doing boob jiggles in white palazzo pants with gold eyeshadow and wearing about 239874328734 bangles that make such a racket! Think pastel suede, lace-up cage booties, and quasi gladiator flats with a bajillion bejeweled bra straps. I have ZERO idea who it's for since super FOBby Asian chicks who dig "magpie chic" can get this mess on the mainland for a high five. Also, today someone hipped me to this.

New Zealand's Space Mission Is Adorable

In a quest to be EXACTLY the place where Jemaine, Bret, and Murray WOULD come from, New Zealand has managed to launch a wee little rocket just slightly beyond our atmosphere into a stratum of area that could technically be called space. It then triumphantly fell into the Pacific Ocean. READ MORE

Italian Cop Car Eats It

I can't help but feel giddy schadenfreudeish glee that the Italian PD has suffered a major blow to their unctuous swagger since their obscenely expensive 200 mph Lambo Gallardo got smithereened by a Seat, a Spanish car that's basically a toy Audi. And the ill dork Easter egg has to be that the design director at Seat is Luc Donckerwolke, who used to work at Lamborghini and DESIGNED THE GALLARDO. I know! Circles rule. Man, "Jersey Shore" better NOT get cancelled because now I'm pumped.

Extra-Dumpy Pants Making a Comeback

Stuart Elliott at the NYT is hysterical. Check it, he says, "FIRST, Justin Timberlake brought sexy back. Now, Dockers will try to bring khaki back." MAHAHAHAHAHA. Isn't that great? I mean, I don't know about you but I think mashing that message into the squarest lead ever is some boss shit. READ MORE

A Call To Big Arms

A study entitled The Progressive Increase of Food Waste in America and its Environmental Impact found that we waste 1,400 calories per person per day which is enough food to sustain a very thin or small or old person or a regular biggish man-person if two people team up and waste food together. This is insane given the USDA's report that one-in-seven Americans did not have access to enough food last year. This sort of information, like the Times telling us that "many numbers of people use food stamps now: sadface," doesn't stay in my head because math is hard like reading books and shoplifting candy is so easy. READ MORE