So I'll drink to the wonder while I wander. If there are gods they must be drunk.

On Professor Of Shiny Surfaces Misquoted To Comic Effect

I had to renew my passport a few weeks ago. The cost was insane. I would say pauperization is appropriately used.

Posted on December 19, 2012 at 12:29 pm 0

On Why Are Britons Vomiting Now?

It's wafer thin!

Posted on November 27, 2012 at 11:18 am 2

On The Disappearance Of Harold Holt

No one will ever fill the void in my heart that was Silvio Berlusconi.

Posted on January 4, 2012 at 4:24 pm 0

On Dogs Think They're Jewish People!

The bris ceremony now evokes a whole new, terrifying image.

Posted on January 4, 2012 at 3:08 pm 0

On The Only Way Is Amy

Wake me up when there is some knife crime.

Posted on January 4, 2012 at 2:20 pm 0

On How Are You Pretending You're Going To Be Better In 2012?

It really won't take a lot of effort for me to be better in 2012. There is nowhere to go but up.

Posted on January 4, 2012 at 11:35 am 0

On Foul-Mouthed Britons Can Now Swear Freely

Fuckin' A!

Posted on November 21, 2011 at 11:09 am 0

On Luxury, Responsibility and the Double-Headed Shower Fixture

The current three- and four-blade razors don't match the old double-edged razors in price and quality of shaves. Gillette and Schick are producing substandard products just to get more of your money. Occupy the Bathroom.

Posted on November 16, 2011 at 9:34 am 0

On Pictures Confusey

China isn't going to settle for those basic, lazy crop circles. They're going to do one better.

Posted on November 15, 2011 at 2:06 pm 0

On What Happened This Morning at Occupy Wall Street

Regis and Kelly haven't mentioned this so I don't care. Ooh, a Larry King story!

Posted on November 15, 2011 at 10:09 am 2