I think tiny hamsters in votive holders are cute. However, I would not advocate using a hamster as a candle.

By Nick Douglas on We Chased Another Woman Off Twitter, Good Job Everyone

Oh god fucking damn it. She was one of the wittiest people in my feed. Please everyone, don't abandon our internet and leave it to the wolves!

Posted on October 23, 2014 at 2:49 pm 1

By KarenUhOh on The Sad Parents of #Gamergate

I am starting a Kickstarter campaign to create a video game where the object is for the gamers to bore each other to death with sanctimony about using their thumb to blow things up.

Posted on October 16, 2014 at 5:02 pm 6

By Gef the Talking Mongoose on How to Say Hello in American

My cousin, who is not from the States, was recently here on a business trip. I asked her how the trip was going and she mentioned that the most confusing part of talking with Americans is "they always ask you how you are. Do they really want to know?" As a good New Englander, I assured her that it was just a pleasantry, and the correct answer was "good, how are you?"

A bit later, I had a horrible realization. "You're going all the way to Baton Rouge on this trip, aren't you?" I asked.

"Yes," she said, "and maybe to Texas too, if the meeting there goes through."

"Remember that thing about 'how are you' just being a pleasant greeting?" I said. "Well, it doesn't count south of the Mason-Dixon line. They actually want to know how you are down there. And by the time you hit Georgia, they may actually be offended if you don't spend at least five minutes actually telling them how you are."

"You know," she said, "I'm learning that Americans are much more complicated than people think."

I didn't have the heart to try to explain what she might expect in Louisiana. I figured she can just roll with it, like the rest of America does.

Posted on September 4, 2014 at 9:51 pm 1

By KarenUhOh on Have You Considered Your Leaders' Optics Lately?

Politics is the worst thing to happen to Politics.

Posted on August 22, 2014 at 9:44 am 1

By jolie on Do You Have a Question for Evelyn Everlady?

@Gef the Talking Mongoose MEEEEEEEEEE TOOOOOOOOO SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE (especially because I HATE the New Internet and want to support any and all attempts to bring back the old one that I loved so much.)

Posted on June 12, 2014 at 2:06 pm 3

By Gef the Talking Mongoose on Do You Have a Question for Evelyn Everlady?

Oh my God oh my God oh my God.

I'm so excited my typing fingers are locking up. That is all.

Posted on June 12, 2014 at 10:25 am 6

By Smitros on The Data Thinks You're Weird

And the columnist had the opportunity to use the phrase "have tried your hand at masturbation."

Posted on May 30, 2014 at 2:37 pm 2

By mgw on Change Comes From Within Website

@paddlepickle Maybe she'll get paid now.

Posted on May 5, 2014 at 1:36 pm 6

By laurel on How Jeb Bush Loses On Super Tuesday, 2016

@hockeymom I even heard the camera click audio cues in between the Choire's paragraphs.

Posted on April 21, 2014 at 12:45 pm 1

By barnhouse on How Jeb Bush Loses On Super Tuesday, 2016

@GailPink YES.

Posted on April 21, 2014 at 11:05 am 1