I think tiny hamsters in votive holders are cute. However, I would not advocate using a hamster as a candle.
Oh god fucking damn it. She was one of the wittiest people in my feed. Please everyone, don't abandon our internet and leave it to the wolves!
I am starting a Kickstarter campaign to create a video game where the object is for the gamers to bore each other to death with sanctimony about using their thumb to blow things up.
My cousin, who is not from the States, was recently here on a business trip. I asked her how the trip was going and she mentioned that the most confusing part of talking with Americans is "they always ask you how you are. Do they really want to know?" As a good New Englander, I assured her that it was just a pleasantry, and the correct answer was "good, how are you?"
A bit later, I had a horrible realization. "You're going all the way to Baton Rouge on this trip, aren't you?" I asked.
"Yes," she said, "and maybe to Texas too, if the meeting there goes through."
"Remember that thing about 'how are you' just being a pleasant greeting?" I said. "Well, it doesn't count south of the Mason-Dixon line. They actually want to know how you are down there. And by the time you hit Georgia, they may actually be offended if you don't spend at least five minutes actually telling them how you are."
"You know," she said, "I'm learning that Americans are much more complicated than people think."
I didn't have the heart to try to explain what she might expect in Louisiana. I figured she can just roll with it, like the rest of America does.
Politics is the worst thing to happen to Politics.
@Gef the Talking Mongoose MEEEEEEEEEE TOOOOOOOOO SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE (especially because I HATE the New Internet and want to support any and all attempts to bring back the old one that I loved so much.)
Oh my God oh my God oh my God.
I'm so excited my typing fingers are locking up. That is all.
And the columnist had the opportunity to use the phrase "have tried your hand at masturbation."
@paddlepickle Maybe she'll get paid now.
@hockeymom I even heard the camera click audio cues in between the Choire's paragraphs.