On Know Your Internet History! A Chat With Cockeyed's Rob Cockerham
HOW MUCH IS INSIDE?
Omg, that is the best.
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On Piling on the Hate for LaGuardia
Aw, I like LaGuardia! It's a little dingy, sure, but it's so chill. And, yes, it's easier to get to Williamsburg from there. It's the only comparatively low-key airport I've ever been in *from which you can actually get to other places* without taking sixteen RJs, a hang glider, and a donkey ride to the next major hub.
But fuck a bunch of ATL. That place is the worst. I'll deliberately look for a connection in sodding DFW just to avoid the miserable cacophonous hell pit that is Hartsfield. Check-in kiosk to boading area is like traveling some kind of sadistic Rube Goldberg human-griding machine populated only by shouty people and untethered toddlers, and is so needlessly labyrinthine you should get a reward of cheese just for reaching your goddamn gate. HAAAAATE.
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On Understanding What Ladies May Not Wear to Prom
@GoGoGojira : Is it because ladies are scatterbrained and indecisive and have trouble organizing their tiny little thoughts into coherent sentences and rhinoceros peanut shoes bamboo rash curling iron I need to make a grocery list DVR mascara?
OH NO I CAN'T EDIT THAT.
Wait, apparently I can?
ETA: That was a scary false alarm. I was all standing on a chair and waving my arms around and going "eeeeee."
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On Ignorant Backwater Bans Restaurant with the Name "Fuku"
"The mark consists of, compromises or includes immoral, deceptive or scandalous matter."
Maybe it's not the name. Maybe they think the big reddish dot on the sign is supposed to be a nipple.
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On Birds, From Worst To Best
@BadUncle : 2) YES. Ours favors a constant litany of "What're you doin'?" and "WOOOOO!" among other things. There's also quite a lot of chicken noises and "No. NO. OUTSIDE. BAD DOG."
Also, I did not know "Brahminy Kite" was a bird. I only know it as an awfully good song by Caribou.
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On How to Blow Through Airport Security for Only $100
@mishaps : It's the same way Microsoft OS upgrades work.
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On Lana Del Ray, "Carmen"
@KenWheaton : I read that as "statistically different" and figured it was a spot-on critique of a Melodic Audible Product (tm) created by inscrutable machinery and marketing dudes.
The song is .... sort of good? I guess? I kind of like her stuff, but also it seems so transparently "crafted" but also not transparently crafted enough. It's like the uncanny valley of pop.
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On How to Blow Through Airport Security for Only $100
"But then you realize it's like an hour until boarding time and you could have been using all this time to smoke."
Oh my frakking GOD, I KNOW. And the shorter your layover, the more likely that your gate is allllllllllllllll the way at the end of the terminal and sixteen thousand yards from an exit to an actual Designated Smoking Area (and not just a random outdoor space where lighting up results in your next words being "quit hasslin' me, cop" okay not /really/ but you're definitely thinking it).
Also? That yardage will double if your previous flight was more than four hours and you'd kill for a cigarette AND you're also hauling around a small dog in a wheely carrier that likes to tump over frequently for no discernible reason.
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On I Sold My Soul to the Department of Homeland Security
@roboloki : It's entirely possible that his full name is indeed Choire Male Sicha.
Maybe it's pronounced "ma-LAY"?
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On Meet Your New Food Magazine, "Graze"
"In Search of Cambodia’s Ancient Stinky Cheese" immediately made me think of a National Geographic cover story.
Actually, that would make a fantaaaastic NatGeo cover story. Just imagine the lovely charts and pull-out maps! With the icon markers for important locations rendered as tiny wedges of swiss! Maybe it could be scratch 'n' sniff.