I'm pretty terrific.
Hi LW. I'm a gay man with a lot of anxiety, too, and my heart aches for you. I hope you take the advice in Polly's response to heart. Not to be terse or anything. Finding good resources for affordable mental health is really, really tough -- that was my struggle in getting help. My honest advice is to find a list of therapists your insurer covers, and go down that list and make 3 appointments. Or just pick the first person who even takes your call, which is what I did, and after years, gave me immeasurable (if imperfect) relief.
By Freddie DeBoer on Our lives with the "stupid masses of people out there that are on that fuckin’ social media"
I've always argued a lot, which suits me fine. The difference lately has been that I'm always defending myself about stuff I haven't said and don't believe, rather than defending myself about stuff I have said and do believe. I put so many hedges into my writing about what I am explicitly not saying that it takes up the majority of the text. But if you don't do that, someone will squint hard enough and say, AHA! You're really saying X terrible thing! Even though, you know, I haven't said anything like X terrible thing. It's exhausting.
Instead of "multiethnic business people enjoying success in conference room," how about just a pencil diagram of the office layout?
Reddit got Sheila fired.
The mother is wearing one of those cutesy animal hats so you just know this kid already sees her as a peer and it's not going to get any better.
By jfruh on See You On The Ice Floe
OBJECTION, JONATHAN CHAIT IS 42, HE IS JUST TRYING TO CURRY THE MILLENNIALS' FAVOR
By Kate Baum@facebook on Ask Polly: I Am Obsessed With My Boyfriend's Evil Ex-Girlfriend—And Her Blog! (And Their Dogs!)
@Niko Bellic Or, he stood in front of all of his friends and family and committed himself to one woman, and that failed? And now if I stand up there and commit to him, is it going to fail again? Is it all a farce? Seriously, grow the fuck up. It's not just about wearing a pretty dress and drinking champagne.
@Natasha Vargas-Cooper Thank you for writing this article. Some folks out there will mix up the facts and contentions involved but no matter what, there's a lot of real talk in it. Over ten years ago I experienced an eerily similar tale - except it was a cat instead of a dog. The way you decribed how the cops don't take female abusers/stalkers seriously, how there is no rhyme or reason to the madness, and how no amount of psychology knowledge or Gavin de Becker books will save you is SPOT ON.
And I'd like to address the whole, "don't talk about your stalker; you're enabling them" line of reasoning.
Yes, this is obviously a valid rule. But:
a) it's been well over a year and the author has elapsed TWO whole restraining order periods (!)
b) there's something to be said, journalism-wise, for sharing the first-hand experience of being a stalk-ee (or, as it were, a co-stalkee, or perhaps a peripheral stalk-ee, as it seems "Scott" is the primary focus of the Fatal Attraction here). I've certainly learned a lot from this piece; it's "servicey", as Choire might say...
c) I think the author has been exceedingly honest and forthright about the mixed, complicated feelings that arose from being confronted by someone with a mental disorder and a dangerous streak. Author hasn't sugarcoated her less-than-angelic feelings and reactions, and she's taken pains to consider -- and emphasize -- that the stalker is a troubled human being, with complicated feelings and longstanding and sympathetic problems, rather than paint her as a stock villain.
Note that the picture accompanying the article is of a little girl -- referring to the author imagining "Misty"'s troubled childhood -- rather than, say, a picture of Jennifer Jason Leigh from Single White Female, which might have been the obvious choice, if the editors weren't so sensitive.
Natasha, thanks for a brave, "servicey" piece! Very Awl-worthy indeed, and a nice surprise end-of-year present from you, Balk, Choire & Co.
@Ireaditall Even if you aren't a Kara sockpuppet (and I still suspect that you are, especially considering "Misty"'s reported habit of creating fake Facebook profiles), then you're a dude who's projecting waaaay too much of your own relationship history onto others', and your take on the article is still creepy.