On President Endorses States' Rights
@Clarence Rosario Spiking the ball is for touchdowns. This is just a good player getting signed to the team. It rates a high-five, perhaps even a fist bump, but the score is tied and we're nowhere near the goal line. Soon, the dominos will fall, checkmate.
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On How's Your Day Going?
I hate contemplating that, so I always push him into traffic.
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On I Think I Will Not Go To The GOP Convention In Tampa This Summer
Ugh just let them shoot each other where's the harm
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On Atheists Not Inhuman Monsters: Study
Ugh. This study is going to make my life so difficult now. I was mistreating and abusing everyone I know, because there is no God to punish me.
I can't do that any more. Too many atheists are nice people. I have to live up to this freaking *standard* now!
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On If A Bear Falls On The Internet Everyone Is There To See It
I love the still frame.
A BEAR OUT OF FUCKING NOWHERE
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On What Is The Real-Real Thing?
I don't think there's anything wrong or dishonest or paradoxical about trying to *stop being such a Fake-Ass* when you sell your product.
There's a particular tone of voice that waiters and waitresses adopt, and once you start to hear it, you can never unhear it, so be careful about this, but it is a tone that they probably don't even realize they are using, that you never hear coming out of the mouth of a normal human being. It's the tone that signals they are happy to be there helping you.
I hate that fucking tone. A waitress who is a little sardonic, or a little bemused, or even a little *happy* but it's obviously about something other than being at work, will get a much bigger tip from me.
"Stop being such a Fake-Ass." That's all I want to tell all companies. That's how you should "be authentic". If you have to talk about your product, say something you really feel about it, in a tone a normal person would use. Is that so wrong?
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On How to Blow Through Airport Security for Only $100
That sounds awesome! Hey, what's your phone number? My terrorist organization will be contacting you soon with a job offer. We are also big fans of the policy.
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On Story Camera-Ready
I feel like she should get her money back.
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On Useless People Bemoan Uselessness
It has nothing to do with the fact that the job of "ridiculously overpaid lobbyist sinecure" has gotten more attractive lately.
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On Audience Quick To Applaud
@Flashman Indeed! In fact, the original description might be more accurate. In order to occur within the time interval, it would have to both begin and end in that interval. It is unlikely that the audience ceased clapping 0.001 seconds after the end, and had that happened, I cannot help that think that, as a performer, I would be insulted.
But also impressed.