On 'I Want You,' In Order of How Badly You Are Really Wanted

Sorry, everything else, but this will always take first place.

Posted on June 25, 2014 at 1:10 pm 1

On Dr. Ruth: Nobody Does It Better (It Being Twitter)

I met Dr. Ruth at a seder a few years back and she is solid gold. Hilarious, badass, and genuinely interested in people. Also, at one point she donned her grandkids' T-Rex mask and I will forever regret not taking a picture.

Posted on March 31, 2014 at 5:50 pm 1

On Some Days Bears Are The Only Things That Make Sense

I would argue that on all days bears are the only things that make sense, but I also thought the Slooh Space Cam was the Sloth Space Cam and got far too excited. What I am saying is that you should probably not listen to me, but also that there should be a sloth space cam.

Posted on April 18, 2013 at 3:57 pm 2

On When I Win The Lottery I Am Going To Save All The Manatees

Maybe some Tylenol will help?

Posted on April 17, 2013 at 12:03 pm 0

On My Dark Night Of The Sole

My reaction to the photo in the GQ article is much like Balk's reaction to the subject of dentists, except possibly with more shuddering.

Posted on March 12, 2013 at 2:20 pm 2

On Ask Polly: How Do I Stop Panicking And Crying Over The Slightest Criticism?

It is uncanny how often I read these and think "QUIT WRITING ABOUT ME." The first one? Lord have mercy. So amazing. So quit writing about me, but also thank you.

Posted on February 27, 2013 at 2:33 pm 2

On Horsemeat Scandal "Breathtaking, Delicious" Say British Politicians

@stinapag I lived there from '88 to '92 and cannot give blood, even though I was vegetarian the entire time. I asked how that made any sense, and the answer was something like "You could have eaten meat without knowing." My mom may have slipped Valium into my snacks on occasion, but I'm pretty sure she drew the line at stealth meat. And, yes, my new band is named Stealth Meat.

Posted on February 14, 2013 at 1:08 pm 0

On The Year In Cheating

@Niko Bellic It was filmed around the corner from my place, on my favourite street in the city. I am pretty sure I will not be able to walk down that street without feeling all the feelings now, but at least several of the feelings will be about movie star strangers.

Posted on December 18, 2012 at 4:04 pm 0

On The Year In Cheating

Between this and watching "Take This Waltz" the other night, I am just far too full of the cruddiest feelings.

Posted on December 18, 2012 at 3:13 pm 1

On Mitt Romney's Weird Laugh

See also.

Posted on March 22, 2012 at 3:17 pm 0