@laurel Haha. I had that same reaction to the "innocent behaviors" line. It come directly after the author says she keeps trying to ditch Jessica. I think this narrator is unreliable!
On Zoo Stories
@ryuamles What wild? The more human population grows, the more resources we consume, the less wilderness there will be. Nobody seems very invested in talking about population and reducing population and reducing consumption. Everybody just wants to have as many babies as they want, then they want to cry about the sad animals.
@Squirrel Bait I don't know. People have different needs. Some people need more space, some people need more contact. It's good to talk about what you need. The letter writer needs more contact--maybe this dude just needs more space. Maybe he just wants things to remain casual, maybe he just wants to move slowly into a serious relationship? There might not be a single thing "wrong" with him…except for the same thing that's "wrong" with letter writer, IE the inability to speak up about what he wants.
Just speaking from experience, as a guy who likes to take it slow. My BF likes to move fast. We talked about it early on and worked it out. 1.5 years later, smooth sailing, mostly. Talking is just good. As is not judging other people just because they've got different needs.
Not to mention the amount of energy it takes to cool them down on a normal, non-blackout summer afternoon. Not efficient!
@meatyvegan This bothered me, too, at first. But how would you describe a man at court? He was wearing a navy blue suit and his hair was combed and he had on brown loafers. He was wearing a grey suit and had on a red tie and black oxfords. He was wearing a black suit and brown oxfords.
There just aren't that many choices in men's formal/courthouse clothing. You wear a suit in one of three colors; shoes in one of two colors. The only time men's clothing gets ink is when it deviates from the norm, when it's fancier (IE a YSL suit; an Italian wool suit, etc.) or when it's too casual for court.
By contrast, women's formal/courthouse clothing can vary wildly, often depending on the personality of the woman, revealing a little bit about her.
As a man, I HATE that I only have a few choices for formal clothes. I detest suits. I'd much rather have the choices that women have, even if it means heightened scrutiny.
@Kalorama_Kat We already know about climate change. Right? Nobody wants to read any more about it and what it might or might not do to the environment, the economy, the health of individuals and groups. We know, we've heard all about it.
People MIGHT want to read about what they can do about it. What is the action to be taken? Right now my takeaway from all of these articles, books and posts is there is nothing individuals can do. It's all: walk to work, recycle, reduce your overall consumption of goods? HA! That's not enough. So why even read another piece about climate change? What's the point?
Fewer people on the planet. Drastically fewer people. That's the only thing that will stop this. Stop with the babies.
@lbf An edit, a second draft, another edit, another draft. Then this piece would have a chance.
I stopped visiting my family during Christmas for similar reasons. I'm gay, and although my mom is cool the extended family sucks. I would leave feeling disparaged, bitter, and angry.
I've never ever regretted it. My mom used to argue with me about it, or try to cajole me, but she's since accepted it and stopped. Now we get together once a year someplace neutral--only requirement is a hotel with a pool, and some cocktails. We relax, we laugh. We have a good time. Our relationship is a lot better. We're accepting one another for who we are, not pretending.
Relationships with family aren't about goddamn CHRISTMAS. They're about connecting, whenever you can, however you want. Find something that works for you and your family. Forcing yourself to endure that awful celebration will not bring you closer to your mom. Find something else to do with or for her that will make her, AND YOU, happy.
@anotherkate Exactly! If she wants him to visit, she should try and make him feel welcome and comfortable.