On Today Only: The Awl Is Auditioning New Commenters!


How much do yoooouuuuu squat?

Posted on April 18, 2012 at 11:20 am 0

On JFK Airport a Foul Nest of Luggage Thieves, Claims Random Dude

@dntsqzthchrmn Seriously, if it was the one in midtown around 43rd street, it was wild. I had a similar view, but I couldn't see the actual cause of the steam. All that I could see from my vantage were people running uptown on Lex -- terrified -- and a huge amount of smoke/steam coming from somewhere.

Anyway, to make this long story, longer, I also called Mollins Esq. after this steam pipe blast, in hopes of a quick buck. I described to him what I saw and felt. However, a few weeks later I got served with a Complaint alleging copyright infringement for some goddamn Godzilla movie. Mollins was plaintiff's counsel.

Posted on March 27, 2012 at 3:07 pm 0

On JFK Airport a Foul Nest of Luggage Thieves, Claims Random Dude

Keep it up with the mocking, I know a guy who semi-specializes in commenter-libel lawsuits.

Posted on March 27, 2012 at 3:01 pm 0

On Knee-Deep in Julian Assange's Hilarious Memoir

Strangely enough, "Knee Deep In Nasa" is the name of a chapter in my memoirs, the one that recounts the time I worked at a fetish dungeon in Tokyo.

Posted on September 22, 2011 at 2:37 pm 0

On Why Yoga Can Be So Irritating (Although You Should Go Anyway!)

@Gef the Talking Mongoose

I am just grossed out by the phrase "yoga culture." Though the phrase chive crotch set the table.

Posted on August 25, 2011 at 1:15 pm 1

On Woman Angry At ATM

Somewhere on the internet, there is a whack-a-mole enthusiast chat room that is, collectively and positively, tumescent.

Posted on August 25, 2011 at 12:58 pm 1

On Let's Read Some Trashy Books

This seems like an appropriate time and place to apologize to my town library, where as an early teen I often defiled "Tropic of Cancer". The shame...

Posted on March 25, 2011 at 11:59 am 0

On Here's Why You Need These Seven Odd Kitchen Ingredients

Unrelated, but I was wondering if bloggers are now subject to the "payola" laws?

Posted on March 22, 2011 at 1:33 pm 0

On How To Split A Check At A Restaurant

I agree with Mr. Shah. I just find it funny that we are getting bill paying lessons from a guy who, probably, has not paid for a meal while dining out in NY for at least 3 years.

Posted on March 8, 2011 at 2:11 pm 0

On Horrible People Do Awful Thing To Teddy Bear

One might feel more sympathy for Tara Wilson had she not been the heartless one who left her stuffed bear out on the porch to fend for itself in the notoriously raw, wet and windy North Carolina winter. For her to now complain about Henry being disemboweled by a local miscreant rings hollow. For shame Tara Wilson, you horrible cunt.

Posted on March 7, 2011 at 1:16 pm 0