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On Who's Afraid Of Lana Del Rey?

what it really boils down to, of course, is that she's hot, her one song is awesomely sad (it was ringing in my head all day yesterday) and she whipped that video together herself (so sayeth Pitchfork) from scraps and pieces.

I remember a young girl named Liz Phair in 1997 starting out without youtube or iTunes and winning spazz-jop album of the year, but friends of mine who knew her smirked she was a snobby debutante 'posing' as indie, and they had dorm room photos to prove it, ya ya. what does it matter? Liz sold out LATER and we'll never forgive her, but first we ADORED her. Don't sacrifice the virgin before the volcano's ready, haters!

My point is Lana Del Ray embodies a lot of the sexiest elements that come from being beautiful and rich in LA -- where sex and pills and anorexia and lip augmentation flow wild and free, but that's not meant as an insult, but high praise. Anyone can be depressed when they're poor, ugly and sing like a buzz saw. For a girl like Lana it's art! I salute her - she is your generation's Edie Sedgwick.

Wait... she's from goddamned Lake Placid??

Posted on December 7, 2011 at 2:29 pm 2

On Steal This Occupy Wall Street

It's so nice because in the 1960s-70s, ALL the news channels ragged all over the hippie protests but now just Fox. Their pure cluelessness is indicative of their demographic - the very rich and the very, very poor Christian racists who never doubt they'll be rich after tomorrow's lotto drawing so vote accordingly.

Posted on October 13, 2011 at 10:46 am 0

On A Supposedly True Thing Jonathan Franzen Said About David Foster Wallace

You summed it up in the title - Franzen says Foster Wallace blah blah - Of Course Franzen doesn't mention that he's made a career out of copy-catting everything Wallace has ever said or done. Franzen is a bourgeois courting, Time Magazine-cover hack, Mookie above, that's a genius SAT question - the answer is all of the above of course

Posted on October 13, 2011 at 10:41 am 0

On Bourbon: The Best Food Since/With Bacon

Evan Williams is the crappiest fake Jack Daniels ever. I'd rather drink Ten High! Ten High banzai! However cooking is probably a decent use for it. George Dickel would be better. Then again, if you wasted Knobb Creek on food, that would qualify as alcohol abuse.

Posted on September 26, 2011 at 11:56 am 0

On 'Straw Dogs': 40 Years After The Original, It Still Sucks To Be A Man

The thing is - if you see the original, Dustin isn't defending his home from a bunch of rapists - he's harboring a giant manchild 'Lenny'-style pedophile played by David Warner, because he's a self-righteous liberal shit who considers it his business to interfere in a local lynching. No sooner has Warner been sheltered than he attacks Dustin's wife! Later Dustin slaps his wife! HE is the bad guy. Peckinpah wept when he realized no one understood that.

Posted on September 26, 2011 at 11:54 am 0