Carry on, my wayward soldiers.

On A Poem By Patricia Lockwood

Utterly shattering. Mesmerizing and perfect.

Posted on July 25, 2013 at 3:04 pm 1

On My Three-Month Facebook Dialogue With A Scammer From Malaysia Pretending To Be A Beautiful Woman

This is the very best thing on the internet this week.

You just won another $50K award. I'll FB you how to collect your prize.

Posted on December 6, 2011 at 4:19 pm 0

On I've Become an Amazing Mom in the Six Hours I've Been Sober

@juliahairpincommenter: I read the Salon piece twice, trying to figure out why she deserved mocking, and I was stumped.

I am not easily daunted. After googling a bit and reading two other pieces of hers in HuffPo (about...fuck, I don't remember, but not this topic), I have concluded that her writing style bugs, and maybe that is what isn't immediately obvious from the linked and mocked story.

Or, more than likely, the perfectly obvious reason for the mocking flew right past me.

Posted on November 7, 2011 at 5:05 pm 0

On The Year, In Order

I consulted the Men of the Stacks calendar, and I have to say, September-January are clearly the superior months of the year.

Posted on September 28, 2011 at 5:45 pm 0

On Baby v. House: Which Comes With The Better Stuff?

If you take that stroller to Greenlake, for fuck's sake, don't walk four abreast.

Posted on August 3, 2011 at 2:54 pm 0

On When We Pretend We’re Dead: Eight Actors On Their Death Scenes

For some reason, I genuinely believed Edward Furlong was dead, and I thought it was just sort of callous of you to include him in this.

I don't know why I confused him with Brad Renfro, but I did.

Posted on July 27, 2011 at 5:43 pm 0

On Please Welcome....

You have really nice teeth. And are rather Saarsgard-esque.

Please don't use the Huffington font. And bring Balk with you when you go on Bill Maher.

Posted on July 25, 2011 at 5:45 pm 0

On 41 Songs By Randy Newman You Should Listen To Before You Bitch About Music Written Expressly For A Childrens' Movie

I saw him perform live and he was a terrific performer.

One of the more poignant moments of the concert was when he set up the song "I Miss You." He said something like "I wrote this song for my first wife, when I was with my current wife.

It is a devastating song. lyrically and otherwise.

Posted on February 28, 2011 at 12:21 pm 0

On Five Writers Talk About Their Book Editors

I loved this so, so much. Wonderful.

Posted on December 14, 2010 at 3:12 pm 0

On The Real Cost of Drinking and Driving (Besides, Like, Vehicular Manslaughter)

The thing is, the BAC doesn't matter anymore. The offense used to be DWI, which was "driving while intoxicated." Blowing the legal limit (then .10, now .08) was conclusive evidence of intoxication.

The offense is now DUI, which is "driving under the influence." There is no longer a requirement to prove intoxication, just influence, and influence is a much lower bar (pun not intended). Slurred words, bloodshot eyes, odor of booze - all of these are indicators of influence. You can, quite easily, be convicted of DUI with a BAC of .05, particularly if you can't afford an attorney. More often, the person pleads to negligent driving or something like that.

I haven't been arrested or convicted of DUI, but certainly could have been, many times. It is, quite frankly, a crap shoot, and from the moment you are pulled over, you are in the system. If you have had any alcohol whatsoever, you are likely "under the influence," and from that point forward, it is a question of money.

As I think was NVC's point, it is exponentially more expensive and dangerous to drive after ANY amount of alcohol than it is to take the cab - there is no "safe" amount of booze you can have without significant legal and financial risk (to say nothing of public safety). Anyway, ballsy piece, NVC.

Posted on December 2, 2010 at 4:22 pm 1