Scocca's piece was great, as is his official Awl designation of "weather snarker."
(Al Roker: weather smarmer?)
On Fire Bugs
This was great. Perhaps we can send the firebugs over to Sweden to torch the Gavle Goat? It's basically arson as a holiday tradition, and I really want to see that sucker burn.
Duh, that's why you secretly grind it up and put it in his food.
No one told me gum chewing was going to be on the exam.
This terrible science is going to give my ladybrain a rage aneurysm.
We need to hook them up with the ponies in sweaters. (Although since Eid al-Adha was last month, I have a terrible suspicion those goats really are the ones Balk saw in his happy place.)
"Too much alcohol can impair a woman's decision-making skills and reduce her sexual inhibitions."
Thank goodness men aren't affected this way.
On the other hand, there may be more chances awesome booze-drug mixing.
But where the concern trolling over 1930s sexting teens?
If anyone makes fun of your schnozz, you can tell them has to be that big to support your manly physique.