whizz_dumb
Jordan is from Chicago, now lives in Oakland, works on environmental noise studies for money, and plays baseball for fun.
On Do Bicyclists Deserve Sympathy?
@Ghost Fart@twitter Nuh uhhh, you look ridiculous! I'm not playing anymore, I'm going home. There's nothing childish going on here.
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On Why Can't Nigel Spell?
@AM I have to pronounce the "finite" in "definitely" to spell that shit rite.
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On "'We're the best thing happening in America,' said one tech entrepreneur"
@riotnrrd Do you think the puss will reach me in Oakland?
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On Chefs Are The New Rock Stars And I'm Already Sort Of Wishing They Weren't
@Reginal T. Squirge I'm definitely a drinkie.
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On Chefs Are The New Rock Stars And I'm Already Sort Of Wishing They Weren't
The word "foodie" makes me cringe so hard if I hear some dummy say, "Well, I'm a foodie so..." I will snap at them in the soppiest sarcasm, "Oh you like to eat good food too? Look how original we are, let's be elitist together about something we, as humans, have to do to stay alive. I'm an eatie too!" At least that's how I want it to go down.
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On Future Brooklyn: The Dadvorcé Mancave
@Niko Bellic You just made a pretty good case for me to stay single and move to New York.
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On "Dudes just don't want to think beyond a certain point when it comes to lady parts."
I was gonna say, "Real life". Turns out I was technically correct.
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On Today In Bears
Bear-cubs-grooming-train level of cuteness is astounding and hilarious.
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On Black People Incoming! Miami Beach on Max Lockdown!
I even moved to a predominantly black neighborhood trying to cure my liberalism and white guilt. The white guilt progressed into a distrust/fear of all cops and I'm still afflicted with this horrible liberalism. Help!