From Chicago, now in Oakland, works on environmental noise studies for money, plays baseball for fun.

On Black Lips And Keys

Transcribed from i-Pod (yeah I still use it): The Black Angels, Black Flag, The Black Heart Procession, the title of this post (I like Lips much more; their older stuff is noisier), Black Mountain, Black Rebel Motorcycle Club. Blackout Beach might not count.

Posted on March 28, 2014 at 1:03 pm 0

On How Should We Deal With The Worst Of The Internet?

"You made it very clear that being nice, chivalrous, and patient was not the way to have sex with you."

This is an insane, insecure, high school bro stance…at best. Being nice, being genuinely courteous, and being patient absolutely does get you laid in the best way. Being coercive is the worst. (Preaching to the choir).

As for "You made me forget about marriage", that poor poor baby someone help him remember about marriage.

Posted on March 25, 2014 at 2:40 pm 4

On How To Write The Perfect Listicle

Agent 35.937

Posted on March 24, 2014 at 6:49 pm 0

On Wait, You Have A Lot Going On In Your Life Too?

@hockeymom Me too, I think we need to talk about this.

Posted on March 24, 2014 at 1:16 pm 0

On Ask Polly: My Boyfriend Thinks I'm Ugly

@Gef the Talking Mongoose Come to think of it, my best days are my mutest days.

Posted on March 19, 2014 at 2:56 pm 2

On Ask Polly: My Boyfriend Thinks I'm Ugly

@Susannaf I don't know, when people ask me what I see in her, why I love her, I always say "tries to buy me whatever I want even though she's broke" right after the #1 quality: "does chores".

Posted on March 19, 2014 at 1:57 pm 4

On What Will Our Easily-Influenced Rubes Eat Next?

"Carrots are on the rise, challenging kale and Brussels sprouts as the vegetable du jour." Well that fills my quota of insufferable hate-reads for the day. Thanks, now I'm ready to churn out some paragraphs of technical/regulatory pap.

Posted on March 19, 2014 at 1:11 pm 0

On Who Makes The Nazi Dinners?

@hockeymom "It's the same as wanting to be the bad guy when you're playing cowboys and Indians."

Someone in the comments nailed it, "I wonder which ones he thinks were the bad guys...the cowboys or the indians?"

Posted on March 17, 2014 at 4:08 pm 4

On Trains, In Order

"Nightrain" by G N' R

Posted on March 13, 2014 at 5:57 pm 0

On You Are What You Tweet

pizza guns combination yep despicable drinking guide drivers DUDE dressed band BASEBALL brown catwoman season style commercials danny saturday cat loud bucks mood badass fuck fart deaths dudes OAKLAND beer laugh added dumb tacos pants jokes salad plus intro taste vape butts lyric feminist song

It works.

Posted on March 7, 2014 at 5:24 pm 1