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On The Saddest Thing You Can Buy in a Grocery Store Is Salad Dressing

@75695978@twitter Juice from two limes, indeed. I blame the booze.

Posted on October 5, 2014 at 2:24 pm 0

On The Saddest Thing You Can Buy in a Grocery Store Is Salad Dressing

While we are at it:

- Cooking a vinaigrette is adding extra work for no reason. Doing more work than you need to to produce something simple, means you are a bad cook.

- Heating a good olive oil damages its flavor. Again, you are a bad cook.

- A dressing that is good with olive oil is probably not going to be good with "a neutral oil like grapeseed oil." Also, the universe of people who buy premade salad dressings and have grapeseed oil in their kitchens is zero. This one makes you both a bad cook and a bad cooking writer.

- You don't know what "emulsify" means. This makes you fucking illiterate.

- If you live in New York and are buying your vegetables in bags at Trader Joe's, you really have no business criticizing anyone else's food-buying habits.

- Telling someone who doesn't know how to make a vinaigrette to throw in "a little sambal oelek" shows that your goal is not inform or educate your readers, but to reassure yourself of your own superiority. Again, bad writer, unless the goal of the writing is to inspire someone to kick you in the teeth.

Plus, your vinaigrettes sound like crap. Turmeric, seriously?

Posted on October 4, 2014 at 10:42 pm 1

On The Saddest Thing You Can Buy in a Grocery Store Is Salad Dressing

This is a bad article. It pretends to be helpful, but really it is just showing off. Telling the notional reader who buys prepared salad dressing that they ought to have pesto in their freezer, translates into "hey loser, I am better than you."

Dan is right that you should not buy pre-made salad dressing, but for a person making salad dressing for the first time this is terrible advice. Only a pretentious asshole would refer to "New York's best spice shop" in an article like this. I live in New York and cook every night, and fuck if I am going to make a special trip just to get ingredients for salad dressing. If you actually know how to cook, unlike this clown, you can make a dressing with stuff already in your house.

Look, if you want to make a great salad dressing, here is what you need: one or two limes and half a cup of olive oil. Mix them with a fork. Maybe add some salt and pepper.

If you want to get fancy, add a clove of garlic, or a teaspoon of mustard. Or a raw egg yolk, and then drizzle the olive oil in while the food processor is running. Or use balsamic vinegar instead of the lime juice. But just lime juice and olive oil is enough to make a salad dressing vastly better than anything in the grocery store.

There is no need to cook a vinaigrette. I don't think Dan is a very good cook.

Posted on October 4, 2014 at 10:24 pm 2

On Ask Polly: A Chilling Cautionary Tale About the Dangers of Getting Involved With Attached People

"As I see it, at least, with regard to man, a love affair, a love for any definite woman—is something in the nature of a widening of the experience. With each new woman that a man is attracted to there appears to come a broadening of the outlook, or, if you like, an acquiring of new territory. A turn of the eyebrow, a tone of the voice, a queer characteristic gesture—all these things, and it is these things that cause to arise the passion of love—all these things are like so many objects on the horizon of the landscape that tempt a man to walk beyond the horizon, to explore. He wants to get, as it were, behind those eyebrows with the peculiar turn, as if he desired to see the world with the eyes that they overshadow. ... Of the question of the sex-instinct I know very little and I do not think that it counts for very much in a really great passion.... It is a thing, with all its accidents, that must be taken for granted, as, in a novel, or a biography, you take it for granted that the characters have their meals with some regularity.

"The real fierceness of desire, the real heat of a passion long continued and withering up the soul of a man is the craving for identity with the woman that he loves. ... We are all so afraid, we are all so alone, we all so need from the outside the assurance of our own worthiness to exist. So, for a time, if such a passion come to fruition, the man will get what he wants. He will get the moral support, the encouragement, the relief from the sense of loneliness, the assurance of his own worth. But these things pass away; inevitably they pass away as the shadows pass across sundials. It is sad, but it is so. The pages of the book will become familiar; the beautiful corner of the road will have been turned too many times. ...

"And yet I do believe that for every man there comes at last ... a time of life when the woman who then sets her seal upon his imagination has set her seal for good. He will travel over no more horizons; he will never again set the knapsack over his shoulders; he will retire from those scenes. He will have gone out of the business."

-- Ford Madox Ford, The Good Soldier

Posted on September 2, 2014 at 5:58 pm 1

On Raymond Chandler, In Order

This one is hard to argue with. I would flip 5 and 4, but otherwise, sure.

Posted on March 26, 2014 at 6:43 pm 0

On Martin Amis Still Talking

I don't know. I kind of liked Night Train.

Posted on March 18, 2014 at 1:57 pm 0

On Are These The Worst Sites On The Internet?

Gawker isn't so bad as long as you never, ever read anything by Neetzan Zimmerman. Viral nova looks like it could be Neetzan Zimmerman dot com.

Posted on October 18, 2013 at 12:22 pm 0

On Four Important Things For Us Dumb People To Know About Space Before Seeing "Gravity"

@Werner Hedgehog Except the whole point of Einstein's theory of general relativity is that these two cases are the same. There is no possible local experiment that can tell you if you are at rest in flat space or accelerating continuously in curved space. Right?

Posted on October 5, 2013 at 9:49 am 0

On Six Lesser-Known "Golden Ages" of Media, 1991 - 2005

Also, for Lingua Franca, weird you leave out Rick Perlstein, arguably their highest profile alum. And Adam Shatz, who's now books editor at The Nation.

Posted on August 17, 2013 at 11:40 pm 0

On Six Lesser-Known "Golden Ages" of Media, 1991 - 2005

What, no love for the Baffler?

Posted on August 17, 2013 at 11:36 pm 1