You've inspired me to write a Christian YA self-help book: When Satan Calls Collect; Don't Accept the Charges.
This guys first mistake is picking up his MIL at the airport. There's an airtrain/E train combo that can get here anywhere she needs to be.
I have fond memories of road tripping in the early 80s in my dad's lime green Mazada pick-up. Dad put the camper shell on the back of the truck and the kids got to sit in the back with toys and coolers full of food and drink. They would probably put my parents in jail for doing that today.
I met the greatest guy in the world and after dating for a while he was still a little non-committal on being in a long-term relationship. I made up my mind to call of the relationship because if he didn't realize how great it was, he was just wasting my time.
On the night I decided to tell him how I felt he beat me to the punch with: "You know how I told you I was scared of being in a relationship? I'm more scared of not spending the rest of my life with you."
Two years later a marriage. Five years after that a divorce.
My advice: don't get married. The only exceptions are if you want kids and think it's best for the kids to have married parents or if you are a stay-at-home or lesser earning spouse and you want alimony after the break up.
Alternatively, a quick upper cut from the first stranger you try to hug should do the trick.
Turn Ryan Seacrest's "She" into a "He" and this becomes the most accurate news story I've read all day.
Great column. I just have a follow up question. I have this crazy friend who is getting married in June. She wanted a perfect indie wedding and ordered a steampunk cake which is obviously really lame. What can I suggest she order instead? Is a cupcake cake okay? What if it's made from Babycakes cupcakes is that cool? Any advice would be appreciated. Also, time is of the essence.
I guess I can cancel my therapy session this week. Thanks!
Although I still think it's for the good of humanity to ban shorts (like guns). You just can't stop them from falling into the wrong hands.
A few responses!
I loathe shorts for both men and women because people tend to: wear shorts that are the wrong length and/or cut for their legs, pair shorts with the wrong footwear, and generally disregard other peoples' eyeballs when the pull a pair of shorts over their pasty-white, bruised, hairy legs.
However, I am sure you look fabulous in shorts! Wear them until it starts to snow! By all means show other people how it's done! But in the meantime I'll break into Old Navy after hours and steal all of their $9.99 hot pants and toss them into the river.