Zach Braff must have been too busy to do the voiceover for this new Johnson's baby shampoo commercial that just made me gag and lurch towards the bathroom with my hand cupped over my mouth. I bet he's regretting it now, seeing how it came out. (The voice actually sounds a bit like that of "Mad Men"'s Vincent Kartheiser, who used to do a lot of voiceover work in commercials when he was young. But that couldn't be him now, could it?)

"Never has adorableness sounded so effortful. Never have an adult male's vocal cords issued so many cutesy sing-songs and plush purrs. Everything I dislike about the schmaltzy, doofus-y Braff seems to have been compressed into this single 30-second performance." Slate's Seth Stevenson rightfully criticizes Zach Braff's voice-over work for Cottonelle toilet paper.