On a mild April night some years ago, I walked past a college dorm in New Haven and smelled something I couldn’t place. It reminded me vaguely of swimming pools. Was it chlorine? I sniffed again, more deeply than before. Suddenly I knew exactly what it was and hurried away, internally berating an unseen teenage boy. A few evenings later, in the same spot, I smelled it again. Filled with a sense of moral outrage I looked around, I looked up, and identified the culprit: A tree.

More precisely, a Callery Pear, or Pyrus calleryana, a deciduous tree that’s common throughout North America. It blossoms in early spring and produces [...]

There are about 2000 extremely quotable things in this Jim Behrle essay on how to become America's Most Famous Ever Poet. It is fantastic. May I just quote three???

1. "We might believe that what the media term 'buzz' gets created organically-that everyone just starts tweeting about Jersey Shore episodes on their own, without any prompting. But it actually takes a concerted effort across a spectrum of sources to create the phenomena we have come to know and love. I learned this in the publicity office of a big-time Manhattan publisher, where most of my time was spent on my knees." And!

"Ana Johana Irias, 26, was using an ATM near Northwest 36th Street and 13th Avenue when a teenager drove by one a bike and snatched her $800 gold necklace from around her neck. Despite being more than eight months pregnant, Irias decided to chase down the crook…. The crook eventually escaped by hop[p]ing over a fence…. Police convinced Irias to get checked out at Jackson-Memorial Hospital. Doctors there discovered that she was in labor, and shortly after the new year's came, at 12:15 to be exact, Irias gave birth to 6 pound, 6 ounce baby girl named Kimberly." —Naturally.

That, certainly, is what my day is like.

To: The Staff of I Can Haz LLC From: Choire Sicha Re: My Free Expression

David, I know you're busy with the accountant, preparing our 2009 taxes (which: LOL), but I wanted to bring to the company's attention my Barack Obama-given right to pump my breast milk at work, as well as the right of all our wonderful contributors to come into the office, pump their breast milk, and then depart (with or without it). You boys might not have this as a high priority, hence this memo. My right to a "reasonable break time" in the pursuit of milk expression is now the law of the land, as [...]