The future is now: "Last year while writing about students entering their first year of college I made an interesting observation: these newly commissioned freshman don’t use wristwatches. In fact, the wristwatch is so alien to this group of late teens, that even the mere action of pointing to a wrist to ask someone the time is akin to speaking an unfamiliar foreign language. (They use mobile phones and laptops to tell the time.)"

In an unsurprising news update, the New Jersey man who smacked his own lawyer in front of a jury convened to determine whether or not he was guilty of a number of violent crimes has been found guilty. He will now be sentenced to life in prison. Because of all the prior bank robbing and stuff.