The Awl

John Daly, "Knockin' On Heaven's Door"

Dave Bry — Mon, 19 Dec 2011 13:30:24 +0000

Here is a video of golfer John Daly wearing white pants and an American flag sports coat and performing Bob Dylan's "Knockin' On Heaven's Door" in Thailand. [Via]

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NYC Gets Gay Country-Western Bar Called "Flaming Saddles"

Choire Sicha — Tue, 27 Sep 2011 10:00:41 +0000

Wow. WARNING: this website for this new gay bar HAS AUDIO AUTOPLAY, but here it is: Flaming Saddles. Mmm hmm. This is what job creation looks like! The press release is remarkable.

New York City has a new watering hole, FLAMING SADDLES, the new kick ass Country Western Gay Saloon, where the Bad to the Bone Bartenders strut their stuff (behind and on top of the bar) & always aim to please. Customers are advised that they best pull themselves up by your boot straps, put on their Tight Ass Jeans and boot scoot and boogie on over to the Wild Wild West Side of NYC. Saddle Up for a Yippee Ki Yay MotherTrucker of a Night!

Also there's THIS PIECE OF ART in the press email!

Haha, word, fine, alright, see you there.

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The First, Harrowing Snippet of Lou Reed + Metallica

Choire Sicha — Mon, 19 Sep 2011 10:30:14 +0000

Love "Master of Puppets"? Love "Transformer"? Then you will be really unhappy with the collaboration between Lou Reed and Metallica, if this 30-second snippet can be believed, which I personally cannot believe. (via, via)

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Perez Hilton's "Celebrity Baby" Blog Launches [Sic Throughout]

Choire Sicha — Tue, 13 Sep 2011 13:20:45 +0000

"Jennifer Connelly's new born her baby girl Agnes, looks a super cute comfy in that colorful sling. It's be a shame if David Bowie stole her! HA! Luck for Jen and Paul the Labyrinth is just a movie."
—Perez Hilton launched a new site that is "a fun space on celebrity parents and all children." ("FILED UNDER: CELEB KIDZ CUTE KIDZ PEREZCIOUS PARENTING")

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Katie Price: Winning the Self-Publishing Game

Choire Sicha — Fri, 09 Sep 2011 10:00:50 +0000

I do not have the rights to reproduce this stunning, amazing photo of one Katie Price (formerly known as "Jordan," she is a model, novelist, UK reality star and, uh, "footballer enthusiast") wearing a swimsuit emblazoned with the cover of her own magazine about herself whilst holding that magazine in one hand whilst standing before a backdrop splattered in covers of that same magazine. My point is: ANDY WARHOL WOULD DIE. If he hadn't, you know, unfairly beaten us all to the grave. The reviews of the magazine are in from The Sun: "It's glossy and full of shite." (It also contains recipes however: "Cauliflower cheese: I buy it readymade but stick it in a dish then put it in the oven to warm through." It also costs £3.99. And it's not even a Kindle Single!)

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'Washington Post' to Shutter Nine Local Bureaus

Choire Sicha — Thu, 01 Sep 2011 15:20:31 +0000

A sad day at The Washington Post, with the news that we're closing all of our local bureaus except Richmond and Annapolis.Thu Sep 01 18:24:20 via webAmy Gardner
AmyEGardner

First they came for... etc.

In late 2009, the Washington Post closed its last U.S. bureaus outside of the D.C. area, including Chicago, Los Angeles and New York. (It also closed bureaus in Johannesburg, Rio de Janeiro and Berlin.) But what of its 11 D.C.-area bureaus? Now there will be two.

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The Trend Story, Mastered: HuffPo Does Gay College Hookers!

Choire Sicha — Tue, 30 Aug 2011 13:30:11 +0000

THIS IS THE PERFECT TREND STORY! This is IT. It is about how young gay men are "increasingly" (!!!) becoming "sugar babies" to pay for college! Let us break down how it works!

• "Kirk is hardly alone in his decision to sell sex in order to pay for school." (Just alone so far in this story but hey, we get more anecdotes later!)

• "An increasing number of gay male students"

• "In addition to a lackluster job market"

• "While young gay men exchanging sex for money certainly predated the financial collapse"

• "recent events have pushed some students to consider"

• "risky behavior that in more robust economic times might have been unthinkable"

• "according to several owners of websites that broker such hook-ups."

I. Can't. Even.

There's an expert who "studied the gay sugar baby culture as an undergraduate at George Washington University." (Ooh, an undergrad research paper. Although to his credit he interviewed 100 kids and sounds smart!) And "an assistant professor of public health at Brooklyn College." And it ends with an anecdote of a dude who can't even get picked up on the "sugar daddy" websites.

Also the reporter randomly goes to a straight sugar daddy party for some color. It's perfection. This is the end of trend stories: a glittering conjuring up of a thing that is to some unknown extent real, packaged into 3D, co-produced by Michael Bay and Jerry Bruckheimer in a big gay SEO cuddle-puddle. I LOVE IT.

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America: Teaching Young People What Is Up!

Choire Sicha — Fri, 19 Aug 2011 10:00:05 +0000

Here is the most dramatic quote you will read in the newspaper today, from the organizer of a summer camp for girls that teaches them how awesome "manufacturing" is: "Not letting your children learn the hands-on component of the theory of science is killing us as a nation. You have to stop giving kids books and start giving them tools.”

Yes, books are destroying America's girls. (Don't get me wrong, I'm all into girls learning to make things! It's just... let's say, complicated. Since the public schools already funnel students into "white collar" and "worker" channels at an early age.) In other news, the story of how the State Department's summer cultural exchange program dumped visiting college students—many of whom are enrolled in "medical and engineering graduate schools"—into harsh assembly-line jobs at a Hershey's plant is hilarious: "In a meeting at the plant last week, which a student recorded on a mobile phone, a manager advised them they could be fired and the council might send them back home if they engaged in a protest." Welcome! Now you've got a through education in USA! USA! I think we can find a solution here. Just shove the girls in Hershey's camps and have the foreigners make all our lampshades.

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Mammoth Silverback Gorilla Bling Identified

Choire Sicha — Thu, 21 Jul 2011 16:20:09 +0000

Back in January, we posed a question : "Dear Insane Silverback Gorilla Bling, What is your sad story? Why were you sitting in the window of an otherwise unremarkable jewelry shop in New York's Diamond District, just after Christmas, amidst other comparatively tasteful—if far less garishly ambitious—baubles?" And now we know: "The jeweler claims the chain pictured is Trent Williams’s, that contains 400-500 carats of black and white diamonds, and that it would be worth $100,000 – $150,000."

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This Story Has It All: Cops, Kiddie Porn, Harry Potter and Guns

Choire Sicha — Mon, 18 Jul 2011 12:00:15 +0000

"Two policemen are recovering after they were shot by fellow officers as they tried to arrest a man on child pornography charges outside a crowded move theatre.

"The incident happened as undercover officers tried to apprehend the unarmed man in the parking lot as he left a screening of Harry Potter in Plainville, Connecticut."
—SEO DREAM CRIME. DID SOMEONE INCEPT THIS???

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