Posts Tagged: Women
18

Ask Polly: A Chilling Cautionary Tale About the Dangers of Getting Involved With Attached People

Dear Polly,

Yesterday, I woke up to an email in my inbox with the subject "Uncontested Divorce Papers." I need to sign them and send them back to the lawyer, at which point she'll file them with the courts, and I'll officially be a divorcée. In order to make the process as quick and hassle-free as possible, the reason given for the divorce is "irretrievable breakdown of marriage over a period of at least six months." The problem is, as far as I'm concerned, that's a complete lie. 

I'd been married for fourteen months and twenty days when my husband told me he was in love with one of my [...]

4

Seeking Solace in SCUM

At the moment, I don’t feel like praising a manifesto that calls for the extermination of a particular gender. This is my own fault. If I had just filed this essay when I was supposed to, I could have avoided this stupid fucking problem.

But watching my news feeds fill themselves up this last week, I felt like I was being force fed. I could have turned it off. But that felt like the ultimate luxury, to close my eyes and pretend like it wasn't happening. I haven’t watched his videos, or read his manifesto, but his presence has had a drastic impact. I’ve never followed the Didion cliché of [...]

0

Ladies Can Pretend To Be Outraged Too

You had to figure that when gender equality finally started to play itself out in the field of politics this is what it was gonna look like.

0

Women Kill More Creatively Than Men, But That Still Won't Get Them A Seat On The Twitter Board

"Women rarely commit murder, but forensic psychiatrist Sigrun Rossmanith has treated many female killers. She tells SPIEGEL ONLINE that women's dark side is underestimated."

0

Women Be Eating

You know, if you start letting women have lunch together, who knows what they'll get up to next? Reading? Voting? MENSTRUATING? Hmm, okay, I guess that last one is fine, but the rest of it sets some very disturbing precedents.

25

Ask Polly: Should I Give My Commitment-Phobic Boyfriend An Ultimatum?

Dear Polly,

Is it possible for someone to have commitmentphobia while simultaneously professing enthusiasm for commitment—all while not doing much about commitment, either way?

Let me explain. For the past year and a half I've been dating a man in his early 40s. I am in my mid-30s. Most of our friends are married, cohabitating, have kids, have houses. You know the drill. I have never pushed on these issues, mostly because I don't feel the need: I have a career I like, friends and family and hobbies I love, a nice place to live, the ability to pay my own bills. My life is full and rich, and [...]

3

Woman Puts Things On Feet At Work

NO RT @irincarmon: Noooooo RT @annielowrey: I can't even. washingtonpost.com/blogs/the-fix/…

— Aminatou Sow (@aminatou) May 27, 2013

If you were vacationing super-hard this weekend, you may not have heard a thousand FEMINISTS screaming all at once, and therefore missed the story of the year. It starts like this: "It may say more about Washington than White House counsel Kathryn Ruemmler that she’s known in the West Wing for her fabulous shoes."

Here is a longer response than "nooooo."

40

Ask Polly: I Want to Get Laid But I'm Afraid of Oppressing Women

Dear Polly,

First of all, let me assure you, I feel like a huge asshole just for asking this, but I've been chewing on this question on and off for more than a year without any real resolution, so I thought I'd turn to you. Here's the deal: I'm wondering whether I'm abusing feminist ideology in order to justify a natural shyness around women and, if so, whether you could find me a new narrative that would help me feel less bad about acknowledging and acting on attractions.

I've always been seriously shy about any aspect of dating, sex, hooking up, whatever. It's not that I have trouble interacting [...]

4

The Missing Episode of VH1’s "Tanning Of America": Ladies Make Noise!

All my women in the house love hip hop, and yet it does often seem that hip hop has trouble loving them back. Gangsta rap and corner boy narratives aside, even the most thoughtful, most nakedly vulnerable emcees will identify a woman—if not all women, in general—as the vessel of their frustrations and fatalism. Kanye West will punctuate his "black excellence" thesis and anti-capitalist invective with poignant misogyny. In 2014, Yeezus is state-of-the-art.

But enough about the boys.

Watching VH1's four-part Tanning of America documentary—a broadcast reconfiguration of rap executive Steve Stoute's book of the same name, published in 2011—you'd never guess that women listen to [...]

1

Who Runs Olympic Sports? It's Men

Congratulations field hockey, you're the most progressive sport in the whole Olympic program.

That needs some clarification: It's not the sports themselves under scrutiny here, but the sports' governing bodies. The above graphic describes the gender makeup of the executive committees—the people in charge—of every sport in the Olympic program (London 2012 and Sochi 2014). That's summer sports on top, winter on bottom; men on the right, women to the left.

For example, starting at the bottom—we are in the midst of the Sochi winter games, after all—the World Curling Federation has seven men and one woman on its executive committee (you can mouseover each horizontal bar for specifics).

[...]
39

Ask Polly: My Best Friend Is A Lunatic Who Owes Me An Apology!

Polly,

I’m part of a three-way best friendship between two ladies who complete me. B is a fastidious, engaging, honest lunatic and L is a messy, cuddly, gregarious, drunken, motherly lunatic. I’m a mix of the two maybe? (Definitely also a lunatic.) We fit together and have for the past 15 years. Over those years we’ve traded boyfriends, towns, apartments, clothes; we’ve stayed up countless nights together; we’ve seen each other through petty and epic break-ups. I mean, we were all in our 20s together: it’s been crazy. B & L are my sisters.

Currently, I’m being driven a little crazy by a situation with B that I can’t seem [...]

22

I Guess The Good News Is At Least We All Have A Common Enemy Now

Like, I'm gonna name my next publication Foot-Binding. Right after Corset and Girdle and On My Knees.

— Nicole Lee (@nicole) August 14, 2013

I thought this whole thing, about this man who was finally going to give women what they wanted on the web—a terrible website!—was a dream. But it was reaaaallll. (Don't miss the comments, where every woman you've ever met yells at him! Haha, it's great.) Anyway, hello gaggles! "Bustle" apparently exists. $6.5 million worth of exists. LOL. The fucking thing makes xoJane look like the collected works of Marilynne Robinson.

0

Lady On Money

"This is a brilliant day for women and a fantastic one for people power."

32

Ditz, Lightweight, Mooncalf, Naïf: The Second-Class Status Of Stevie Nicks

Stephanie Lynn “Stevie” Nicks turns 65 on Sunday. As the lead singer of Fleetwood Mac and as a solo artist she has written and sung some of the most indelible songs of the rock era.

The band has long since entered the pantheon of Rock Greatness as a “legacy act.” When your local classic-rock station plays “Go Your Own Way” and “Rhiannon” back-to-back on “Two for Tuesday,” do you drum along on your steering wheel? Of course you do! You’re only human!

And yet. While Stevie—I’m going to call her “Stevie” because, like all icons, she invites familiarity while retaining a core of mystery—has enough solo hits to avoid [...]

26

Ask Polly: My Boyfriend Thinks I'm Clingy and This Terrifies Me

Dear Polly,

I’m writing with a deceptively simple question. How can I be vulnerable? Some pertinent background: I’m an academic, working in a field that requires me to live in very remote places for extended periods of time. I find my work incredibly engaging and rewarding, and I know I’m lucky in this regard. Still, the life of an academic (particularly a traveling academic) is often isolating. I don’t have a place to call home. My family is deeply dysfunctional; although I love my parents and siblings, our relationships are fraught and I have never felt unconditionally loved by my parents. I was diagnosed as a child with OCD, and [...]

123

Ask Polly: My Boyfriend Thinks I'm Ugly

Dear Polly,

The amazing man I'm with told me to improve my looks when we first got together. We've been together four years now. Here's the story:

When he first met me, he had fallen for me straight away, always coming in for coffee on my shift at the local cafe, always texting first, offering rides home, asking me out first. He was very sweet and persistent.

I was hooked and I said yes, yes I will be your girlfriend. Then some shit started…

He never complimented me on any of my physical traits, yet every weekend we hung out, he would somehow manage to tell me that [...]

4

Seizing The Freedom Of Men: A Road Trip Alone

A day and a half after meeting at Moose’s Saloon, Jude and I boarded a raft with his pit bull and began floating down the north fork of the Flathead River.

He called himself a mountain man, and was eager to guide a city girl on life in the outdoors.

“We’re going down the river, going to have a Montana adventure today… because we’re craaaZAY!” he sang loudly, as other people sailed by.

I hadn’t showered in three days because I was sleeping in the car to save money, but Jude didn’t seem to care. Neither did his dog, who kept leaping into my lap. Jude grinned, turned up some [...]

10

Oh Those "Crazy" One Direction Fans

"The girls aren't crazy—they're just excited." Early on in the One Direction documentary This Is Us, a neuroscientist details the dopamine rush a fan feels when she thinks about the band, and provides confirmation for what Harry Styles, Louis Tomlinson, Zayn Malik, Niall Horan, and Liam Payne have always insisted: Directioners are not crazy—and they're not to be ignored. In interview after interview over the past three years, usually surrounded by thousands of screaming young women, the band has politely corrected reporters who characterize their followers as "insane" or "deranged." "We prefer 'passionate,'" they'll demur. "Or 'dedicated.'"

There’s more to this than semantics. Possibly you don’t realize how [...]

1

Patriarchy Still Preventing Women From Having It All

"Why can't women time travel?"

0

Women Be Drinkin'

Ladies, you are doing alcohol abuse wrong.