Congrats to H.R.H. CROWN PRINCESS MARY of DENMARK and the guy who's keeping Uma Thurman's undoubtedly frail and chilly body comfortable in the evenings, and, LOL, some Tisches. You're all the best dressed people in the WHOLE WORLD. Ugh, I can't believe I clicked through every slide in that slideshow!
…WHILE WEARING AN ASCOT. I enjoyed the part where he calls the gay sex "filthy." You know how you can't tell if something's a parody? Yes: this is it.
"For years, we got the Christmas cards with the official family portrait — Roy Ashburn, his wife, kids and golden retriever, smiling for the camera. Political reporters tacked them up on their cubicle walls with the cards from other local politicians." -The executive editor of the The Bakersfield Californian starts his explanation of why they couldn't cover the huge hypocritical gayness of CA State Sen Roy Ashburn with this "WHAT HUH? TACKED WHAT ON WHAT NOW?" moment.
Jedward fever is sweeping Britain and destroying everything in its path. Plucky islanders have proven unable to resist the contagion, and epidemiologists warn that, left unimpeded, it could prove more devastating to the nation than the Ant and Dec virus of the nineties. If you or someone you know would like to help out, please send knives.
Yup, it's Trust… the new David Schwimmer movie.
WORDS ACTUALLY SPOKEN IN THIS NEWS REPORT: "The latest Internet craze… it's called i-dosing… websites are luring kids with free downloads of so-called digital drugs… this alarming new trend… Parents really need to listen up on this one!" But, wait, kids are worried too! "'I heard it was like some weird demons and stuff through an iPod and he was like freaking out,' said Mustang High School student Meghan Edwards."
For just $2.99 a month, the Los Angeles Times will now deliver to your home a weekly 44-page tabloid-format TV news section, the TV Times. What's in it? TV listings, mostly! "24-hour daily grid listings spanning morning, afternoon, primetime and late-night programming, four pages of alphabetized TV/cable/satellite movie listings, a full-page cover story, a TV-related crossword puzzle, episode highlights and synopses, and a dedicated sports programming page." This is it! Someone has finally figured out the business model of the future! Okay, I'm being sarcastic, and that's rude. I hope the ad space makes them money! With the LA Times entertainment site's web traffic down from over 21 million [...]
Am I losing my mind? Did I wake up in some strange new place? Is the online front page of the New York Post about the SALT REDUCTION IN THE HEINZ KETCHUP RECIPE? Also, lemme tell you, they are passing along some lies, because "For the first time in 40 years, Heinz ketchup is changing its famous recipe" is a lie, because there's no way sugar wasn't swapped out for high fructose corn syrup over the last 40 years.
Here, on another side of the Internet (the Internet is like one of those Dungeons and Dragons cubes with 13 sides or whatever, which means that none of those sides can actually see any of the other sides?), is a list of the 30 killingest bloggers on the Internet. It's fascinating! Chris Guillebeau, anyone? "Chris has received a lot of attention with his blog, the Art of Non Conformity. His unique philosophy and compelling writing style propelled him to authority blogger in less than 279 days." Joanna Penn? "Joanna has been the hidden success story of 2010. Her blog, The Creative Penn, has had a lot of success in [...]
Going Rogue and Going Rouge are not the only books coming out about former Alaska governor Sarah Palin. The Weekly Standard's Mathew Continetti has written The Persecution of Sarah Palin, a "226-page defense of Palin and slap-down of the media coverage she has faced." U.S. News & World Report pulls out a few excerpts. Here's my favorite.
Supplies! "Four men with a seemingly limitless appetite for office supplies have burglarized Staples stores in Manhattan at least seven times this year, the police say."
Big news! Coming in Monday's New York magazine! A plot twist in the long-established narrative of New York City rich people parenting! The Misery of the American Parent, by Jennifer Senior "Social-science researchers keep coming to the same conclusion: having children makes adults unhappy. Why? Maybe it's because American parents are demanding more of themselves than ever before. Or maybe it's because we've forgotten what 'happiness' actually means. A look at why parents hate parenting."
"With the official start of the 2010 Atlantic hurricane season Tuesday, a disaster-prone Haiti is far from ready for what meteorologists predict will be a heightened storm season with at least 15 named storms." Oh. YA THINK?
"'You hear it all the time: Rock is dead,' David Fricke writes in the new issue of Rolling Stone, on sale at newsstands today. 'But the current state of music is the same as it ever was: There is the good and the bad, and there is always plenty of the former, if you're willing to seek it out.' To prove the point, the Rolling Stone staff assembled a rundown of the 40 top reasons to be excited about music right now, starting with our cover stars, the Black Eyed Peas, a group that has perfected the art of global domination thanks to the brilliant maneuvering of philosophical leader [...]
It's the only category at awards season that anyone cares about-Best Mini-Series Or Motion Picture Made for Television at the Golden Globes! Now, if you feel as I do, you understand entirely that these should be two separate categories, as they are completely different undertakings! (The Emmys understands this.) And while I have a lot of respect for Michael Sucsy's Grey Gardens for HBO, it is so obvious that the hearts and minds of America are all behind the BBC/WGBH Boston co-production of Little Dorrit, the values of which we have noted here previously. I SAID "OBVIOUSLY," so GET IN LINE, PEOPLE. What's his name, the Hot Mr. [...]
