The Awl

Martha's Vineyard: Trailer Trash Since 1642

Choire Sicha — Fri, 19 Aug 2011 15:01:59 +0000

"1921 Upon learning that President Calvin Coolidge had been out of Washington on vacation in Marion, Ohio, for a week, Dorothy Parker's less clever sister is reported to have remarked, 'How could they tell?'"
—Since everyone is FREAKING OUT about Barack Obama going to Martha's Vineyard on vacation, here is a brief history of Presidential vacations. The best is that everyone's all upset about how ELITIST his vacation choices are. The dude grew up in HAWAII. And also, it's not like he owns a 1500-acre ranch in Texas? Also am I going to be the one to point out that Martha's Vineyard, much like Cape Cod, is pretty much populated by white trash who've just been here a few hundred years longer than most of the rest of us? (Oh apparently I am.) I mean, these people were whalers! And angry white people! They almost seceded from Massachusetts!

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The Only Casey Anthony Verdict Tweet You'd Want to See

Choire Sicha — Tue, 05 Jul 2011 15:20:42 +0000

So was Nicole Brown Simpson's family when your dad got OJ off. RT @KimKardashian: CASEY ANTHONY FOUND NOT GUILTY!!!! I am speechless!!!Tue Jul 05 18:26:28 via EchofonAmerica's Hero
HaHaWhitePPL

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Local Man Needs Any Job At All, Please

Choire Sicha — Thu, 10 Mar 2011 13:30:51 +0000

Local man desires employment, can lift heavy things, manage offices, type on computers, serve food.

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Tiny Woman to be Destroyed for our Entertainment (One Hopes)

Choire Sicha — Thu, 09 Dec 2010 09:30:08 +0000

"MTV has announced it will put Snooki in a ball and drop her from on high on New Year's Eve in Times Square." Fantastic! I knew, what with the way things are going and all, that we'd try to reinvent public executions soon enough.

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Married People: Just Shun Them

Choire Sicha — Thu, 04 Nov 2010 11:00:25 +0000

Bundle proves what we all know: married people are cheap and boring and should not be taken seriously or gone out with on a Friday night.

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Dan Savage: Christine O'Donnell's "Sexual Conduct is 100% Relevant"

Choire Sicha — Fri, 29 Oct 2010 13:35:31 +0000

I guess it doesn't "get better" for Christine O'Donnell after high school, eh Dan Savage?

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Cars, Emergency Rooms Kill White People A Lot Less

Choire Sicha — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 12:30:00 +0000

Johns Hopkins announced a study this morning that found that "minority pedestrians are far more likely than white pedestrians to be struck by motor vehicles" and "uninsured minority pedestrians hit by cars are at a significantly higher risk of death than their insured white counterparts, even if the injuries sustained are similar." Oh yes: "uninsured patients had a 77 percent greater risk of death" than the insured. Here's one nice way of putting something complicated: "Previous studies have shown that insurance status and race may increase mortality risk because of treatment delay or differences in services provided." Jaywalking! A one-way ticket to death in racist America! No but, best of all, now we're going to see a spike in "minority" ER visits, since it's the fun new past-time to drive Muslims off the road in your Chevrolet Blazers.

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A History of Bob Stein, Full-Time Thinker

Choire Sicha — Tue, 31 Aug 2010 11:45:54 +0000

The extraordinarily abstruse Triple Canopy has a new issue up. Most of it is beyond my interests and/or understanding, however I greatly enjoyed this interview with Bob Stein, who for the last six years has run the think tank Institute for the Future of the Book (I don't know, really; one of its goals is that it has "no deliverables") and also founded the Criterion Collection and spent a lot of time thinking about LaserDiscs and HyperCard (oh man!) and also worked at Atari, trying to create the encyclopedia of the future. Basically he makes Clay Shirky's jobs look very task- and result-oriented.

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Restoring Honor: The Rise of Mormonofascism

Abe Sauer — Mon, 30 Aug 2010 17:00:45 +0000

America is under attack from a religion that would see its freedoms taken away, see the clock of progress turned back and assure the institution of a theocracy. These religious fanatics are building their houses of worship in our backyards and, worse, being recognized by the highest levels of our political system. As it is often said, they hate America for its freedom.

Of course, we're speaking of the Mormonofascists.

Alarmists would have Americans believe that Muslims are looking to entrench themselves in American communities to, if not commit outright terrorism, infect the American culture with a theocratic system of worshiping the Koran. And for sure, Islam itself faces major questions about tolerance, best summed up by Christopher Hitchens in his statement that "We are wrong to talk as if the only subject was that of terrorism."

But make no mistake! There is a deeper, more sinister threat to American freedoms and our way of life: Mormon fanatics. From massive out-of-state financial support for anti-civil rights legislation to clandestine leveraging of media power for demagoguery, this specter has no greater current American practitioner than Glenn Beck. One of them, quietly downplaying his religious affiliation right now, sleeper style because it's politically convenient, even wants to be our next President.

Which is more dangerous: A bunch of guys kneeling on carpets a couple of times a day near your home, with maybe a tiny handful of them academically planning your death 12,000 miles away, or a church pumping millions of dollars to secretly influence elections in other states, with Glenn Beck using his considerable clout to promote the Wallbuilders organizations? This is an outfit that, in its own words, means to:

exert a direct and positive influence in government, education, and the family by (1) educating the nation concerning the Godly foundation of our country; (2) providing information to federal, state, and local officials as they develop public policies which reflect Biblical values; and (3) encouraging Christians to be involved in the civic arena.

This country is being transformed. It's way beyond prayer in school. It is way beyond the war on Christmas. It is into Mormon nationalism.

As for preposterous reaches of the scripture's fundamentalism, which is harder to believe? That however-many virgins are waiting for you in heaven or that an angel appeared before a 19th century ne'er-do-well to reveal to him golden plates containing an unknown American religious history which the man then translated using stones placed in a stovepipe hat, only to later lose the plates back to the angel before anyone else could ever see them? (A note to Americans: That both religions in their most fundamentalist form endorse and condone, as the pinnacle reward for piety, sexual access to numerous virgins suggests that they could eventually team up to rise against our liberty. Be vigilant.)

Which "training camp" is more dangerous? A sand lot equipped with monkey bars in some ditch half a world away, or a university with a $500 million endowment and an MBA program ranked in the nation's top 20?

Did you know Mormonism is the fastest growing religion in the United States? If just three percent of Mormons are Mormonofascists like Beck, that's an incredibly large number of them looking to turn back progress and reverse American freedoms. And, sure, the Islamists are building a few mosques here and there, but the Mormons are building many times more temples every day in our neighborhoods. Maybe you have not noticed them, since they usually draw no attention to themselves, often appearing to be just any other American church. That's not an accident.

This is a disease in America. It's not just spending, it's not just taxes, it's not just corruption. It is a Mormonofascist drive to a theocratic utopia. Every time Mormons achieve positions of power, we lose more of who we are. When you give up your right to struggle, you're giving more of your freedom away. We are destroying our children's future. There comes a point where you must stop and realize that we cannot do this. In fact, there is a cancer that is radicalized Mormonism, and it must be cut out or it's going to kill all of us (including the good Mormons).

And yes, there are those good Mormons. It's a small portion of Mormonism that is acting to destabilize and bring about the downfall of the American values of freedom we love. But where are the good Mormons speaking up? Why don't we hear from them? Why don't they denounce the evil Mormons?

Make no mistake, the flame of freedom is dwindling. The shining city on the hill, the sun is setting. If you don't want it to go out on our watch, then you must stand in the blaze. The fire of truth that does not burn those who stand in it, but consumes everything that is not! Point others to the truth!

I beg you, America, I beg you. Great and powerful evil is on our doorstep. Great and powerful evil is here. I beg you, read about the Mormons like Glenn Beck.

The Awl

Martha's Vineyard: Trailer Trash Since 1642

The Only Casey Anthony Verdict Tweet You'd Want to See

Local Man Needs Any Job At All, Please

Tiny Woman to be Destroyed for our Entertainment (One Hopes)

Married People: Just Shun Them

Dan Savage: Christine O'Donnell's "Sexual Conduct is 100% Relevant"

Cars, Emergency Rooms Kill White People A Lot Less

A History of Bob Stein, Full-Time Thinker

Restoring Honor: The Rise of Mormonofascism

Hey, What Happened to Ryan Gosling's Career?