Yes, getting to Peak Troll—the state in which everything on the Internet is the worst it possibly could be—is a concern. But let's look at the facts—the facts of climate change! When the future of the Internet is graphed against sea level projections, it all works out okay. Most of us will likely die before Peak Troll completely ruins everything forever. Knock wood—and stay at sea level. Better to go out with the coasts than survive and live through what the Internet will be like in 100 years.
Over my bed, or the thing I call my bed which used to be a couch but is kinda now more of a cot, suddenly bathed in an unnatural moonlight, is a seven-foot book with arms and legs. It's a hardcover with a shiny commercial trade book cover. The title is set in a silvery font that jags and blurs out a little, like frost. It reads: THE COLDEST NIGHT OF THE YEAR. This was the title of a play the Drama Guild of my high school wrote and performed about homeless people for a one-act play competition. We didn't win, but I always liked that title. I always wanted [...]
John Yoo is an enemy of American values, an advocate for torture and for wiretapping U.S. citizens without their consent. His guidance in matters of U.S. law has been reprehensible. John Bolton is an bizarre variety of jingoist and a bully and amazingly obnoxious. He is long-time embarrassment to America diplomatically. Together, they are an OUT OF THEIR MINDS BARMY LOONY BIZARRE POLITICAL OPERATIVE WEIRDO MENACE on the Times op-ed page.
America is under attack from a religion that would see its freedoms taken away, see the clock of progress turned back and assure the institution of a theocracy. These religious fanatics are building their houses of worship in our backyards and, worse, being recognized by the highest levels of our political system. As it is often said, they hate America for its freedom.
Of course, we're speaking of the Mormonofascists.
They are going to maybe outlaw the smoking in state parks and beaches in California, which, shocked that they haven't already? But I guess not all of California is Marin. (Am I right? High fives, anyone?) Anyway now California is all, "Smoking is bad for beaches." Like, people leave cigarette butts out there and stuff. Dudes, do you know what the ocean is basically made of? Dead bodies. Do you ever stop to think about how many millions of corpses have been dumped into the ocean over the literally thousands of years humans have existed? It's basically one giant open pit of ground-up human flesh. This is pretty [...]
Since 1945, man has been shoving air conditioners through his windows. Despite our fears, very rarely is someone wounded by a falling air conditioner. We have the technology. We have mastered gravity. It's time to shove our cats out the windows.
If we can put a cat in space, which we have been doing since 1963, we can put a cat box outside our space, and therefore end our suffering at the hands (??) of our cats. (Our cat's butts, I guess.)
We're edging slowly closer to this goal.
Later this month, the still very new Anne Frank Center in New York is starting a four-session, very cool sounding diary writing workshop, among their many new public programs. What do they know that we don't???
"1921 Upon learning that President Calvin Coolidge had been out of Washington on vacation in Marion, Ohio, for a week, Dorothy Parker's less clever sister is reported to have remarked, 'How could they tell?'" —Since everyone is FREAKING OUT about Barack Obama going to Martha's Vineyard on vacation, here is a brief history of Presidential vacations. The best is that everyone's all upset about how ELITIST his vacation choices are. The dude grew up in HAWAII. And also, it's not like he owns a 1500-acre ranch in Texas? Also am I going to be the one to point out that Martha's Vineyard, much like Cape Cod, is pretty much [...]
"MTV has announced it will put Snooki in a ball and drop her from on high on New Year's Eve in Times Square." Fantastic! I knew, what with the way things are going and all, that we'd try to reinvent public executions soon enough.
Johns Hopkins announced a study this morning that found that "minority pedestrians are far more likely than white pedestrians to be struck by motor vehicles" and "uninsured minority pedestrians hit by cars are at a significantly higher risk of death than their insured white counterparts, even if the injuries sustained are similar." Oh yes: "uninsured patients had a 77 percent greater risk of death" than the insured. Here's one nice way of putting something complicated: "Previous studies have shown that insurance status and race may increase mortality risk because of treatment delay or differences in services provided." Jaywalking! A one-way ticket to death in racist America! No but, [...]
Recently, in New York City, a woman lost one of the diamond stones from her betrothal ring. It measured 4 carats. "I wake up in cold sweats dreaming that I'm going to lose my ring — and the funny thing is, I did," she told a local paper about the status symbol. Funny thing! The shiny stone, a symbol of her worth, was later found, however, by a watchful man. Now she can retire to privacy of her home, ring intact.
If you're considering buying an iPhone, this fellow has been trying one for a while and offers some thoughts on the experience.
I just got search warranted at 6:30am by a very polite crew from the DA's office. Took my iPhone, laptop, some old notebooks.
— Joe Muto (@JoeMuto) April 25, 2012
Gawker's Fox employee mole and brain surgeon Joe Muto had a big morning, with a small army from the D.A.'s office seizing his computer, phone and "notebooks." (Notebooks!) Muto says he is being accused of grand larceny. Clearly he doesn't have a lawyer or he wouldn't be tweeting about this.
The extraordinarily abstruse Triple Canopy has a new issue up. Most of it is beyond my interests and/or understanding, however I greatly enjoyed this interview with Bob Stein, who for the last six years has run the think tank Institute for the Future of the Book (I don't know, really; one of its goals is that it has "no deliverables") and also founded the Criterion Collection and spent a lot of time thinking about LaserDiscs and HyperCard (oh man!) and also worked at Atari, trying to create the encyclopedia of the future. Basically he makes Clay Shirky's jobs look very task- and result-oriented.
Uh oh. Our in-house LIBERAL ELITIST MAYBE-RACIST Cord Jefferson is back in his home state of Arizona, we have just learned from his Twitter, a trip he promised in his recent piece that argued against the Arizona boycott. There's no telling in what ways he might be trying to enliberal the local population of poorly-educated racists of that state with his "tolerance" and "offers of friendship."