You would have no reason to know that all winter I've been attending night school, in pursuit of my Master's in Gay Mixmastery. (This is over at the Finishing School for Homosexualist Gentlemen, which, naturally, closed down for much of the week after the death of Alexander McQueen. It is in Chelsea?) In furtherance of my degree, I had to turn in a final class project, which, because it is now the weekend, we will share with the Internet for no good reason.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve wanted to enter a baking competition. But I never would, because I’m chicken. The thought of losing… I don’t know, maybe I watched too much or didn’t watch enough Back to the Future as a kid but man, that kind of rejection? Not something I can handle, thanks.

Then a Williamsburg-based outfit called City Reliquary tweeted at me BECAUSE UGH THE INTERNET WHY IS IT THE WORSSSSSST THERE IS AN EMAIL ADDRESS RIGHT THERE IN MY PROFILE asking if I would donate a batch of Crack Brownies to a bake sale fundraiser they were holding for themselves. Oh man, and how [...]

Spring is the time when even the surliest curmudgeons are lulled by new shoots and flowering buds into a state of shallow optimism. Summer-as certain plants inexplicably thrive while others succumb to heat and rain and pests-delivers a mix of pleasure and disappointment (and Deathâ„¢). Autumn, leaving us now, is about reflection and reconciliation.

Suffolk County will decide whether to issue a "mandatory evacuation" for Fire Island today, which is an annoying thing, because whether it gets stormy or not over the course of the week, that means there's still no ferries running. (And you don't want to get driven onto the island in a storm surge; it's hairy!) But that may all be moot, since the LIRR is just now barely running properly again, after a fire put service on the fritz for a week. Gays! Return to your seaplanes! Remember when you weren't victims of public transport?