Geez, as if bedbugs stabbing their mates in the stomach with their spearlike penises wasn't bad enough, look at how water striders do it: "Water strider sex begins unceremoniously: the male mounts the female without any courtship rituals or foreplay. She may resist but if she does, he starts to actively strum the water surface with his legs. Each vibration risks attracting the attention of a hungry predator, like a fish or backswimmer…. And because the female is underneath, she will bear the brunt of any assault. By creating dangerous vibes, the male intimidates the female into submitting to his advances. Faint heart, it is said, never did [...]

Discovery reports on a Binghampton University study that suggests female water striders prefer less aggressive males, and in fact produce more eggs when mating with them. Lovable dork and guest columnist Cynthia Mills writes: Evidently, some male water striders like to come on a bit strong to the females. In my day they would have been sidling up with line like, 'Hey baby, what's your sign?' I guess now they would be saying 'Hey baby, what's on your playlist?' Whatever line they are using, they are obnoxious, and as such, clearly they would make lousy mates. The water strider females agree. Unfortunately, if the pond is small, they [...]