"Washington State Penitentiary will be one the state's eight major prisons locked down today as part of a budget-cutting exercise." [Related: the Walla Walla Union Bulletin's own budget-cutting exercises include omitting words such as "of."] But yes, going forward, the state prisons will lock down once a month to save money—though good news, prisoners "will be allowed out for meals"! Though they "will not be able to attend education classes, participate in treatment programs or go to work assignments." So it begins! Now with staff furloughs and full-on shut-downs, we can stop pretending that even America's non-privatized prisons are about reforming, when they're really just about incarceration.

The month of August in Washington, D.C., is dominated by uneventful fare with the most noteworthy happenings going down outside of the beltway. Perfect timing, then, for an adorable celebri-teen to show up and maximize media exposure for his pet cause. The photogenic subject in question was Nick Jonas of the pop group the Jonas Brothers. This week, he took to a much smaller stage than he's used to at the National Press Club to promote awareness for Type I Diabetes. There, like out of some cruel joke, a soft, moist chocolate cake was present at each table.