Airplane Bounces Off River During Far-Too Dangerous Sporting Event

Dave Bry — Thu, 10 Jun 2010 15:50:53 +0000

Holy Jesus! Did you see this? An airplane pilot named Matt Hall bounced his plane off the Detroit River Saturday and survived. This happened while he was slaloming through an obstacle course, in front of a crowd (including his poor wife!) as a part of a Red Bull Air Race. This terrible, terrible idea for a sport was hatched at the highly-caffeinated beverage company's "think tank" in 2001. Earlier this year, Brazilian pilot Adisson Kindlemann crashed into the the Swan River in Perth, Australia. Luckily, he survived, too. It's very slightly reassuring to know that "any form of dangerous flying," including "crossing the crowd line" leads to disqualification during the races. But when this death-courting sporting event comes to New York City next weekend, you will not find me anywhere near the Hudson River.

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Oh, That's So Cute, An Ice-Skating Bea... AAAGHHH!!! NO, NO!!! PLEASE GOD, HELP ME!!!

Dave Bry — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 12:45:50 +0000

You know what bears don't like so much? Wearing ice-skates. As the BBC reports, an ice-skating bear killed the manager of a touring Russian circus while they practiced for a show in Bishkek, Kyrgyzstan. "The bear, WHO HAD ON SKATES AT THE TIME, severely mauled another circus worker who tried to rescue the manager." Apparently, bears in Russia play hockey, too. That seems like a good idea. Let's give these killing machines big sticks to go along with their razor-sharp claws and teeth.

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The Awl

Airplane Bounces Off River During Far-Too Dangerous Sporting Event

Oh, That's So Cute, An Ice-Skating Bea... AAAGHHH!!! NO, NO!!! PLEASE GOD, HELP ME!!!