Posts Tagged: USA! USA!

Good News, We're Taking On A Bunch Of Debt Again!

"Americans ramped up their borrowing at the end of last year as their confidence improved, posting the largest increase in household debt since before the recession."


Is Ryan Harrison the One American Tennis Player We Can Believe In?

Ryan Harrison, who will be 20 next month, is suddenly on the Davis Cup team, since Mardy Fish just unexpectedly quit after having "funny feelings." (That's a quote.) Harrison left the juniors at 16, is a chatty Twitter enthusiast and is currently ranked 66th. That makes him the 5th-highest ranked American tennis player. (They also passed right over Donald Young when picking a replacement, which, hmm.) The Davis Cup begins Friday, where they face France. So everything is thrown into an uproar, and it would be very nice to have any faith in American mens' tennis. Anyway, no pressure, teenager! It's not like we're all [...]


Why I'm Still Not An American

It's a simple enough conversation-starter: So, where are you from? What I've learned to say is, "I'm from D.C.," because it's a good enough answer and nobody ever really has anything to say about D.C. anyway.

I was born on Knifecrime Island, in London, and lived there until I was six. I remember it vividly: the song I'd sing with my mother as we walked to school every day, "The Paul Daniels Magic Show" I'd watch with my grandmother, and that epic schoolyard brawl I got in at St. Vincent's where I lost some teeth and Sister Patricia told me to gargle hot salt water until it felt better. [...]


The Awl's Noted Pork Arbitrage Theorist Willy Staley On Bloomberg TV

I guess my favorite part of this Bloomberg TV segment on our McRib v. pork market exposé (besides the fact that they talked to actual pork futures analysts!) is when they bring McRibs down to Occupy Wall Street. (That really happened!) I'm guessing they just didn't show the part where the vegans threw them back in the producers' faces? TV is amazing.


Did You Hear About That Wacky Foreign Country Where It's Terrible to Fly in Planes?

Did you read this alarmist story about terror in the skies? Apparently some wacky, backwards country has corrupt support staff, aborted landings, exhausted pilots, runway light failures, eccentric pilots, crazy turbulence, ground control issues, pilots forced to speak out about safety conditions, aging planes, and chaotic crowds of passengers desperately trying to get on overcrowded flights. Let's all point and laugh at the backwards third world!


New Shadow American Government Appointed

Supposedly tomorrow Leon Panetta, the CIA Director, is going to become our Secretary of Defense! And General David Petraeus, who ran our "situation" in Afghanistan, is going to become the head of the CIA! (He will now report to James Clapper, who has had so far quite a successful career, despite running into trouble over signing on to the existence of WMDs in Iraq and more recently for suggesting that Gaddafi would win in the Libyan uprising.) Marine General John Allen is supposedly going to take Petraeus' job in Afghanistan! Ryan Crocker, former ambassador to Iraq, Pakistan, Syria, Kuwait and Lebanon will become our ambassador to Afghanistan, [...]