Jolie Kerr: Merry Everythingisterriblenuary, John! Three weeks in. Are you as despondent as I am?
John Ore: It's the Doldrums of Drynuary. Adrift in the middle of the month, coping mechanisms running low, no land in sight, wind out of your sails. Brings up all sorts of existential questions. Also, I keep seeing an albatross for some reason.
Jolie: Week Three is basically the March of Drynuary. Oh but! Speaking of coping mechanisms, I have a question for you: why do I feel like bringing O'Doul's to a party is cheating? Rationally I know it's not, but I feel like it is? #feeeeelings
John: (My birthday is in March, so [...]