Posts Tagged: Trampires
36

'Twilight Series': Bite Me Four Times Shame On Me

While getting ready to write this month's Classic Trash column on Stephenie Meyer's Twilight series, Nicole tripped on a tree root and was unconscious in a bed of leaves for several hours. This, as best as she can remember it, was the ensuing dream.

Forks, Washington. The Year 3013.

As the dawn broke, I continued doing my new jigsaw puzzle, a beautiful interlocking mosaic released to commemorate the 500th anniversary of a successful Israeli-Palestinian two-state solution based largely but not exclusively on the 1967 borders. It wasn't a physical puzzle, of course, since we now had those retina field computers you accessed with brain waves.

I had [...]

36

The Year In Cheating

2012 was the worst year ever for infidelity in America. I know that because I am American, and in 2012, my boyfriend cheated on me. Not only that, my boyfriend cheated on me and I had to recover from it in complete anonymity. Robert Pattinson, cheated on by Kristen Stewart, was invited to unpack this experience on "The Jon Stewart Show." I was not. Someone shot a video of Scott Broadwell in his darkest hour, after his wife Paula's affair with General David Petraeus was revealed, walking with somber solidity to his brother-in-law’s house, while Paula gripped his arm with an assuring sense of ownership. No such video exists of [...]

2

Poisonous Monkey Thing Found Somewhere, Is Already Endangered

A weird little primate with a poisonous bite has been discovered in Borneo. We are still finding new primates! Of course, the creature is already threatened with extinction. Nycticebus kayan is a new species of slow loris. It looks kind of like a little bear with a striped demon face. So cute!

But the new loris is already under threat from the Asian pet trade in part because its "teddy-bear face" make it attractive for illegal poaching, the team of UK and US scientists said.

So, animal trappers working for exotic pet stores in Asia found this new lemur-like venomous creature before the biologists managed to identify it. [...]